Economic Problems and Facing our Fears

With the recent collapse of two Wall Street giants, speculation of doom seems to hang in the air especially here in New York City. Between gas prices, politics and financial crisis, it's amazing anyone seems to be able to get on with their day. And my clients are definitely feeling the strain, with the situation affecting their careers and pocketbooks.

In spite of all of this, I want to point out something. Tragedy can be a time of great growth. Our lives, dreams and families don't have to be demolished -- they can instead take flight.

That might sound crazy, and yes, you're right that Wall Street does affect Main Street -- all of our Main Streets. And yes, the economy is all linked together, etc, and it may trickle down. But that does not mean your life is ruined. It could even mean the opposite.

Times of tragedy are times of change. There is nothing inherently wrong with change, but bringing in something new does always mean letting go of something. We associate letting go of something with sadness, and so the situation seems bad.

But all times of change really are, is a reminder that it is natural for life to be in constant flux. Life is not stable, for all of our attempts to make it that way. And accepting that it is natural to need to adapt, to continue to grow, to re-access, will connect us deeper with what it means to be alive and human. It can even connect us closer together, as we remember we are alive, and we are not so far removed from natural forces of life.

Instead of clinging on to what material things we have, let's instead remember to let go of the fleeting things in life that are never really ours. And hold tight to what matters.

We don't have to be victims of the world and the evening news. We have a choice to do things differently. Each of us are alive and we all have a shot. Why not take it?

You logically know you are not actually sitting still. You know the world is moving. So don't resent this fact. Or get angry at Wall Street. Accept that we are all surfing here, and we need to do our best to be strong enough to ride out the waves -- the easy ones, and the tough ones.

Change happens so gradually most of the time. We don't notice it. Like the turning of the earth or the smooth transition from season to season -- but growth is always there. Sometimes these changes are sudden -- we lose a job. We lose someone we love. And other times, these changes are gradual -- we become unhappy at work. A relationship becomes distant over the years. But that change is always with us. Even when nothing appears to be happening, things are still changing (both inside of us and in the outside world). We never stop growing and the world doesn't either.

It is the nature of life to change -- empires rising and falling, ocean waves swelling and crashing, financial charts increasing and decreasing -- this is the nature of life. We don't need to be victims of nature and the outside world. We don't have to cower with fear as we list the factors we can't control. There will always be things outside of our control. But we are extremely powerful as individuals, once we decide to be. We can choose to make a choice -- our own choice.

The less we cling on to the things we can never really "own," the more free we will be. And the more we take charge of our lives, access what is there and what is not, see situations for what they are, and keep our dreams in sight, doing what is best for our happiness and that of our families -- doing all of this in the midst of whatever is happening.

Humans have been through terrible times, and Wall Street is not the worst of it. So let's be happy for the strength, intelligence and adaptability we have as people -- and find a way to harness difficulty and turn it into success.

The outside world, as big as it seems, is not as large as the human desire to live happily. And nothing can hold you back from getting what you want if you choose to make it happen, regardless of anything else. If you own it and take responsibility and accept it, both for your own mistakes and the worlds, there is a way.

http://www.yourdreamslifecoach.com

Want to find the best life coach for you and your goals? Need a new life? Career or personal dreams? Find out more about Life Coaching. I'm Julie Melillo, a NYC Certified Life Coach serving professional, ambitious clients -- I coach financial traders, attorneys, entrepreneurs, artists and anyone creating a big, brand new life. 

Choose your own adventure...

Does anyone remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books? You would read a section and then decide what action the character should take and flip to another page to see the result. To me, real life is like that too.

In your life right now, your entire reality is made up of the choices you have made thus far. This -- right now -- is the end result of some decision you made a while ago. Some decisions five minutes ago, others from a year ago, others from when you were a kid. Yes, your beliefs will continue to influence your decisions

And your decisions are often based on your beliefs about yourself and the world -- what you expect to happen is what you allow to happen. So really, you have total control: you can change your expectations, your thoughts, your beliefs AND your actions. You get to tell that character exactly what to do.

So if you think of your life right now, there are some things that are happy and easy, and other things that are a never-ending struggle. Which things in your life fit into the “easy” column and the “difficult/impossible” column in your life?

What is easy?

What is difficult/impossible?

For the happy column, celebrate! It’s wonderful to get what you want and the things you have done have obviously worked out great. Keep it up!

Understand that areas of anxiety and struggle in your life RIGHT NOW are the past attempting to keep its hold on you, as you grow into new things. The people you long to notice you, the situations that hold you back, relationships that have grown stagnant, and all of the areas that you attempt to force that don’t work – these are indications that your past is trying to keep you repeating patterns that you have outgrown.

If this resonates with you, you’ll notice that you feel almost addicted to continuing these unfruitful efforts, despite clearly logically knowing that it isn’t working. These patterns from your past are powerful – which is why you’re still doing these things, despite being a smart person.

It is now your choice. Would you like to continue? Or would you like to evolve? Wouldn’t it feel nice to let go and triumph forward into something meant to be, something that feels so right it is as clear as water – it is obviously the right thing for you. What would it take to see that and allow it into your life?

Take careful note of areas of misery in your life right now. The things you wish for, but are afraid to admit probably aren’t taking you in the right direction. The end goals here aren’t really what you are craving – you are forcing unnatural situations in order to prevent your own growth. But remember, these outcomes are not who you are. These are choices you have made on your journey, choices you made in the past when you were at a different place you have now outgrown. And it is now time to choose fresh.

The seasons bring freshness and newness into life. Luckily, life re-freshes itself in this way constantly, effortlessly. But keeping your own life in line with this universal idea of re-growth can be a struggle if you are clinging on to what has already passed and what is gone. It is okay to be sad to see those pretty green leaves fall, but remember that holding onto them will leave you with a pile of decomposed mush. It is best to brightly look forward to the beauty of winter, and everything else beyond that.

Do what you can do now. Decide what you can decide. Take the control into your own hands to bring you what you want. If you don’t have the job you want, what inside yourself has prevented you from finding it? What were you afraid of that kept you from fully exploring? If there is a goal that you haven’t reached, is there something else you must complete first, before you reach that goal? If there are areas in your life that are empty, why are they that way? Have you recently changed in a way that is causing you to notice those areas of life more – and what is it that you need to be happy?

There is always an answer if you are willing to ask.

Remember you are in control and you choose what you select and place into your life. It’s like you have a basket as you are meandering through the forest – you decide what you pick and place into that basket – and if you choose incorrectly, simply remove that object from your basket and place it back into the forest. If you don’t like the quality of plants in the areas of forest you are in, turn around and go to a different place.

If you don’t like something, become aware of it. And then choose something new. It is surprisingly easy. What holds you back is not the outside world, but inside fears. So find a way to make note of those fears, and remind yourself why it is you deserve this. Don’t you deserve this? Weren’t you born for a reason? Let’s take hold of your life, re-shape it, and re-direct it to align all of your efforts, thoughts and beliefs in the direction of what you want.

Truth is what unlocks this process. So be truthful with yourself. What is it you’ve been afraid to see? What do you need to realize in order to get there?

But the first question to ask yourself of course is – what is it you really want? Then trust in the newness of life, the potential around the corner, and most of all, trust in yourself. Know you will get it, when you have created the right conditions for your goal to grow. When you have dealt with the un-truths, and fears, when you have consciously decided what your goal is and what you are going to do about it – then it is guaranteed to happen.

This is all in your hands. In that adventure that lies ahead of you, what are you going to choose?

http://www.yourdreamslifecoach.com

Want to find the best life coach for you and your goals? Need a new life? Career or personal dreams? Find out more about Life Coaching. I'm Julie Melillo, a NYC Certified Life Coach serving professional, ambitious clients -- I coach financial traders, attorneys, entrepreneurs, artists and anyone creating a big, brand new life. 

Your room, your life

It's interesting how our living spaces reveal more than we think they do. Look around your room, your office, or any space you have control over. How is it organized? Or not organized? What would a stranger walking into your space think of you? Are you vibrant and alive? Are you passionate? Orderly? Planned out? Spontaneous?

Look at your room and notice the objects you have chosen. Why did you chose that? What does it mean to you?

Remember you can chose the objects to fill your room the same way you select what you place in your life -- your job, your relationships, your activities, your thoughts, your beliefs, your passions -- these are your selections. And they are choices you have control over.

On a personal note, I remember when my living room was a disaster. It seemed each month it got worse and worse, and I didn't care to improve it. I let clutter and junk pile high, and I didn't respect or care for my possessions -- the fact was, it was a life I was done with. I was ready to move on to something new. And those objects were things I secretly wanted to throw out. Instead of making the tough choice and moving onto a new life right away, I held onto that life I had outgrown, allowing the room to become more and more ugly, until finally, I sold everything and moved to New York. It didn't happen over night though -- and looking back, that room clearly showed me exactly what I wanted in my life, what I didn't have, and what was holding me back.

What is holding you back? And what secrets does your room have to share about you and your life?

http://www.yourdreamslifecoach.com

Want to find the best life coach for you and your goals? Need a new life? Career or personal dreams? Find out more about Life Coaching. I'm Julie Melillo, a NYC Certified Life Coach serving professional, ambitious clients -- I coach financial traders, attorneys, entrepreneurs, artists and anyone creating a big, brand new life.