NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

Fall is symbolic of letting go of old withered leaves , letting them change color, and then drop, knowing that eventually, new fresh leaves will grow to replace the old. Change in our own lives has a cycle as well. It works best to ALLOW and even WELCOME change, by realizing that whatever has left our lives, needed to leave (exactly at the time it did). What is not meant-to-be for your life, needs to make a swift exit -- otherwise what IS meant to be for you will become blocked, leading to unhappiness. Just as it would be odd if a tree insisted on clinging to its old brown leaves, insisting they were once green, we too need to shed the leaves in our lives, so that we can regrow fresh new bright green leaves. To give yourself a fresh fall new-life, write down these 6 questions. Leave them on your desk for 1-3 days. Don't force yourself to answer them, but simply repeat the questions to yourself -- see what comes up for you. You may have an immediate answer, or you may be surprised

Whether you are a business professional in a crowded office, or you work for yourself, use these tips to give your desk a productivity make-over! DESK DISTRACTIONS TO AVOID 1. CELL PHONES/SOCIAL NETWORKING WEB SITES -- Personal cell phones are a huge distraction at work. Yes, it's exciting to get a fun text, BUT we all know how easy it is to spend the whole day texting, checking social networking sites, or even chatting with friends online -- where did the day go? This isn't a problem for killing down-time, but if you're someone who is stressed because you never have enough time, this is a great way to carve out a few more hours in your week -- these minutes really do add up. Focusing on your work will make you more competitive for your next promotion or landing that business deal -- and you'll feel more accomplished at the end of the day. Many of my clients have struggled with this common problem, whether working in a traditional office or at home. When we switch task

Choose your thoughts for the day, the way you'd select your outfit. You don't tell people, "I can't change this outfit. I've been wearing it for a month. It's just what I wear." No. You can change your clothes, and you can change your thoughts. When you find thoughts that no longer support your goals, simply change them. Yes, thoughts become habits. This is a good thing, because your NEW thoughts will become a strong good habit in 2-3 weeks. HOW TO DO IT 1) What thoughts will support your goals? 2) REPEAT THESE THOUGHTS to yourself throughout your day. 3) DON'T BLOCK YOUR FEELINGS. On the flip side, listen to your feelings and feel them completely, without judging. Then correct any untrue thoughts. Example: 1) Today I'm going to eat healthy because it makes me feel good. 2) Repeat this thought during day to self. Write it on a sticky at your desk. Set your cell phone to alert you to the thought several times a day -- just set it as an item on your

Signs you're dating a sociopath: http://www.yourtango.com/201179136/10-signs-youre-dating-sociopath 1. Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting. 2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that. 3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends. 4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch. 5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems. 6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they'd be better off telling the truth. Is It Possible To Spot A Liar? 7. Intense eye con

To my daters... One in 25 people is a sociopath. So that charming person you're sitting across from at dinner? They may be missing an important part of their brain -- literally. Sociopaths lack a portion of their brain which is responsibly for producing feelings of guilt -- they are physically disabled , and this is not treatable. This enables them to do harm to others and feel no remorse. It all comes down to capabilities, ambition, and what the sociopath wants out of life -- some sociopaths might steal a friend's $20, or lie about something small, while others are CEOs who steal millions of people's money. One sociopath might delight in quietly bullying others at work, just to watch people become upset. While another sociopath may be violent and kill people or animals without a second thought. Scary. It's all shades of gray, but the central idea is that sociopaths don't feel remorse. They can kill your dog, or steal your spouse, or lie to your face -- and sleep s

Do these things simultaneously, and the world is your oyster. Here is my approach. Follow it to create anything you'd like. It's the closest thing to a magic potent that I've got. No matter what life throws at you, you'll not only get through it, but THRIVE using this approach. 1) You are powerful , and you can create ANYTHING you'd like. What you put energy into (and think about) expands. 2) So take control of your thoughts. BUILD the mindset you need to support your goals. WRITE it down, and repeat it daily. 3) When you feel off track, LISTEN to your feelings. Let feelings exist, and discover the message they are sending you -- it's important. 4) BE there for yourself always, as a soft place to fall. 5) TAKE bold action daily. And LET GO of controlling results -- NO ONE controls results, only ACTIONS. So take smarter, better actions. 6) TWEAK your plans weekly. Back to the drawing board is how great inventions and accomplishments a

FOCUS, SEE, BELIEVE. Want to get more of something? Money, love, time, health, friendship, fulfillment? Deep answers from within? More fun? A better home? If you want to get this now, there is one step you can do TODAY that will move you much closer to it. 1) Focus on it. It sounds easy, but simply shifting your focus to what you want speeds your time to get it. Start thinking about it. See it in the world today! What we focus on, we find ways to achieve. It becomes easy, because WE SEE IT show up in the world. What we ignore, doesn't exist in our world -- we are blind to it, even if it is showing up ALL around us. We can't notice everything at one time. So due to necessity, we only SEE what we've decided to see. We're BLIND to the rest -- for example, how many yellow t-shirts do you see in a day? Have you ever noticed? If you haven't focused on this, you've been blind to it, and you have no idea how many yellow t-shirts are out there. How

An article I wrote in 2008, that I believe is still relevant to the situations we fact today (this was used as a podcast on Trans4mind.com). Economic Problems and Facing Our Fears By Julie Melillo With the recent collapse of two Wall Street giants, speculation of doom seems to hang in the air especially here in New York City. Between gas prices, politics and financial crisis, it's amazing anyone seems to be able to get on with their day. And my clients are definitely feeling the strain, with the situation affecting their careers and pocketbooks. In spite of all of this, I want to point out something. Tragedy can be a time of great growth. Our lives, dreams and families don't have to be demolished -- they can instead take flight. That might sound crazy, and yes, you're right that Wall Street does affect Main Street -- all of our Main Streets. And yes, the economy is all linked together, etc, and it may trickle down. But that does not mean your life

Want more success and happiness? STOP ignoring your feelings. When you dismiss your feelings, you dismiss YOURSELF. LISTEN. Ask "how do you feel?" and "why? What happened? Why are you upset?" Listen. What is the message? Ask "What do you need?" And then take action to meet whatever need that is. Taking a small action will make a HUGE difference in how you feel today. Try it! Most of us (especially my CEOs and business clients), feel they THRIVE on ignoring and dismissing their feelings, to stay "logical." Just the OPPOSITE happens actually! The more you bottle feelings, the more likely it is that they'll result in rage, sobbing fits, rude comments to others, passive aggressiveness, etc. You LOSE control of your emotions when you bottle them. Deal with your feelings on your own, and you'll be in control of how you handle situations with others. My client today was a good example. A very successful and logical woman, she'd felt for over

My clients often ask about the difference. So here are just a few of the main ideas explained in detail. They can look similar. For example, all relationships have anger -- people ALL get angry. But it's the way the anger is expressed that defines healthy versus UNHEALTHY. People model their relationships after those of family -- and everyone ASSUMES the way they behave in a relationship is NORMAL and HEALTHY. However, not everyone acts healthy in a relationship. Read below to identify if YOU are acting right, or if your partner is. If you've been raised in an unhealthy way, it's your obligation to heal yourself, and change your behavior in the future. Otherwise, you WILL create unhealthy future relationships in ALL areas of your life, and without real change, any future children you should have WILL be affected and will continue the cycle. This is GUARANTEED to happen unless you choose to change. Acting in an unhealthy way in an relationship violates the basic ideas of wha

"Love is like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low." HENRY WARD BEECHE Love isn't like money--the more you give away the more you get back, and the more you have to give. S. M. STIRLING Here are some ideas to keep in mind for all of my clients -- whether looking for "the one" or wanting to improve their existing relationship. Below are some quotes about love, but first, some thoughts of mine. The world is an interesting place, because we see examples of AMAZING love, but also bitter hatred that causes people to do AWFUL terrible things -- from killing and torturing others, to kicking their own dog out of frustration, or doing strange things in relationships that are harmful emotionally or physically -- my clients often wonder, regarding relationships, "how could she do that?" or "how could he do that?" when these things are so harmful (and painful to the person on the receiving end). Streng

What are your TOP GOALS?? If you're like most people, you probably want to get in great shape for the summer! And that's a great do-able goal to have. But you might have a whole LIST of other goals on your mind. Write out your own GOAL LIST for the next few months, to focus you in on achieving what you WANT most. To inspire you, here are some fun goals my client's are working on: (taken from a bunch of clients to protect their privacy). Are any of these goals your OWN goals too? 1) meeting the love of his/her life -- a legit soul-mate. 2) quitting the FT job and working as a financial trader full-time 3) moving to a foreign country (without already knowing the language!) 4) launching a brand new business (several ideas are on the table -- and learning to work from home without losing motivation) 5) expanding an existing business (let's not struggle, and how about a million dollars? why not?) 5) standing up to family and negative friends/ avoiding negativity at the

"You are in the middle of the ocean with thirty five pounds of gold in your hands treading water -- no land in sight -- what do you do? Do you keep the gold bar and sink with it and drown, or do you let it go and swim away?" TRUST that if you LET GO of what's heavy, swim away, and follow your gut, you'll find riches and happiness that fill an island. But not if you've sunk to the bottom of the ocean first, you won't.

Are you STRESSED? How to deal: This can be business stress, relationship (or personal life) stress, or stress in ANY area of your life! 1) What are you in control of? (Make a list of actions you can take). 2) What aren't you in control of? (These are someone else's worries -- let go of them! 3) Picture your ideal end result -- what does it feel like to HAVE it? Capture this feeling, and feel it now. Visualize this result as much as possible. 4) Write down exactly what you want to happen. Make your goal clear as crystal. 5) And breathe! Deep breaths. Drink water, exercise, stretch, eat right, get enough vitamins, get a massage, get out into nature. Stress wrecks havoc on your body, so you need to deal with the physical effects as well. Take a deep breath, Ahhh. Now that wasn't so tough, was it? Enjoy your peaceful feeling. free digital photos. net, photo.

Fake fear makes you feel TERRIFIED If you feel deeply terrified of something (switching jobs, dating, starting a business, being alone, failing -- ANYTHING), then chances are you are dealing with FAKE FEAR, versus a realistic assessment of what's possible. The truth won't make you feel terrified. It's just there, as a calm truth. So feel your deepest terrors. Are you afraid of losing all your money? Being fired and losing your house? Being left by your boyfriend or girlfriend? Losing your health benefits? Being alone? Not getting the job you want? LIST your fears, and analyze if they are actually TRUE , or if you've created artificial walls and barriers. Pull down those barriers and you become free. The truth will set you free (from these fake fears) -- you are FREE to do anything with your life. But only if you remove the temporary walls you've put up. I challenge you to boldly rip down those walls of fear, and to walk out with freedom towards what you TRULY want

Life can be a great adventure, an epic romance, a beautiful quest, full of love and sunlight -- or it can be a closed dark closet, painful fearful doors sealed shut. It's up to you whether you keep those closet doors shut, or not. Feel the direction that's meant for you, and go towards it -- that fuzzy vague shimmering feeling: it's what you're meant for. It makes your heart resonate with peace and simplicity (but perhaps it seems impossible?) --, whether you think it's possible or not. It IS possible. TRUST. open. Feel what is meant for you and Go forward, even if you're terrified. Even if it seems to "make no sense" right now -- just keep going. You'll connect the dots later. Listen to the truth, listen to yourself, and live the truth -- even if that feels like giving up everything. It allows you to gain everything. Give up on what the neighbors think. Trade in the car if you can't afford it. Know you are more than your possessions, or wh

Just featured again in Galtime.com, my tips on handling catty women! Read it here: http://tinyurl.com/3ncb4p8

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Adversity introduces a man to himself. ~Author Unknown The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. ~Max Lerner Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater. ~William Hazlitt It is better to drink of deep griefs than to taste shallow pleasures. ~William Hazlitt, Characteristics, 1823 Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. ~Albert Einstein Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. ~William Feather

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When dating, most people focus on "how cute is this person" and "are they fun?" This is just fine for casually dating or finding new acquaintances. However, when wanting something more serious and lasting, it's easy to forget to focus on the qualities that matter most in marriage. Even the most cute and fun person can be a nightmare if they lack the essential qualities that a good long-term relationship/marriage require. Number one on this list? Emotional maturity! Emotional maturity isn't awarded to us when we reach physical maturity. And many "successful" adults can be completely lacking in this quality. They can have jobs and seemingly "normal" lives, yet they are living essentially with the same maturity and decision-making approach as an 11-year-old. Uh, who would want to date or marry that?? See tips on spotting these types below! Of course, no one is going to volunteer that they're seriously lacking in maturity. They probably w