NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

How to Avoid the 5 Sins of Life Coaching -- 5 Things  A Coach Should Never Do  By JulieMelillo In Life Coaching school , students learn techniques to become effective coaches with clients -- but knowing a fact from a book and applying it are two very different things. Coaches don't usually intend harm by not following the list of "coach sins" -- they instead have not yet trained themselves how to coach. Being a coach is not always easy and takes continued education and discipline. An ineffective coach can even create additional roadblocks for a client. For example, a bad coach can cause a client to begin to question their own ability to think and solve problems -- the very opposite of what should be accomplished: getting the client to trust themselves and their intuition. Anyone looking for a coach should keep these lists in mind, or forward to those you know who are looking for a coach. This applies to all areas of coaching. Dif

We all want to live in the present moment, feeling connected, centered, and blissfully happy. We want to "tune in" to life around us. Yet often, this is the opposite of what happens. And despite the books we read, or the meditation classes we attend, it just seems impossible! Read on to find out what the real roadblock is, and how to change it. One thing that seeps into the present moment, is the past. All of the good and bad things about it. The comfort of remembering it, the shame of any bad things which we did. The mistakes and embarrassing moments. Remember that the past is gone. It happened because it needed to happen. You needed to experience it, in order to grow more fully into yourself. Now you've grown. And that past isn't yours anymore. It belongs to the " old you. " The future will be yours. It will belong to the "new you" you're about to become.  But right now, the only thing you own, is this moment. It is yours. Do

Our restaurants are graded in NYC to ensure our safety-- and most of the time food will only make you sick for a short time. But our elevators aren't -- and elevators can injure or kill you -- my client's personal trainer was thrown against the ceiling when his elevator sped up too quickly and he's now paralyzed for life. And can we ever forget that that woman who was chopped in half when hers was stuck between floors and she stepped out just as it started moving? I can't forget that. Elevators should be graded with a framed certificate posted right by the elevator doors. The grade would include elevator violations, and whether they had been corrected, with a total score like restaurants do. Then you'd at least have the knowledge to KNOW if your elevator was safe, and you could choose if you wanted to step in. There are 10,000 accidents and 30 deaths a year from elevators that aren't maintained and malfunction. That would at least hold them accountable...and ma

Sorry Match.com, but I'm not longer recommending you to clients.  I was a loyal fan of Match.com for over the last 10 years, as it was clearly the leader, and it was easy to use. I've always recommended it both to friends and coaching clients, I've used it myself, and I developed a long list of techniques for both men and women to optimize their experience. However, with new design changes, I will no longer be recommending match.com to any of my clients. It's now overly slow, organized in a repetitive way where it's very difficult to get to the real information you need -- emails aren't stored -- winks are hard to access. And everything is put onto tiny screens where you can only see 4-5 people at a time and have to click on "next" and wait. There is no reason to use such a slow system that will probably add up to 5 or more hours of your time online dating per week. The past Match.com allowed you to quickly scan through a whole list of hundre

No matter how long you've had a problem,  there is a day when everything changes. When your blinders come off and you see how beautiful the world really is. When the sunlight which was blocked from you suddenly becomes ALL YOURS. When everything you've longed for and thought was impossible, simply becomes possible -- even better, it simply EXISTS. Now. And it happens without a huge effort. Without decades of painstaking work. It happens because of a new awareness. It happens when you remove your blinders. We all have a unique set of binders, and understanding yours gives you the power to simply remove them. It's like we spend our whole lives in a little row boat tied to the side of a river. We think that's the whole world. But we've never had the bravery to untie that rope, and let ourselves float quickly downstream in those rapids, perhaps being pulled right over a waterfall as we crash down into foamy rough water, but then we are pulled gently into the mou

So you're all set to start a business, jump into trading, or have otherwise discovered your passion in life! Amazing. Your energized by your newly found purpose in life and ready to take over the world with your new plans.  However, the close people in your life may not feel equally thrilled.  This is a common occurrence for my clients when they start or expand a business, become a financial trader, or go after any number of other pursuits. You've probably noticed some tension with your romantic partner, friends and family members, who may not understand your willingness to throw caution to the wind -- especially if they stand to be negatively impacted financially, lack of time together, etc. This doesn't mean your dreams are not viable, special, or doable. However... If you don't want to end up alone and huddled in a corner, it's important to really see the situation from your loved ones' perspective and prepare them for changes with with a series of c

"He's just not into you if he isn't calling you." "He's just not into you if he's not asking you out." "He's just not into you if he's not marrying you." And so on... It's a catch-all solution for all of the ambiguous dating situations in which a relationship is stalling , or not moving forward, or not seeming to work out as we'd like. Though it is a catchy phrase from a popular book, delivered under the guise of being helpful, it can actually be harmful by putting too much emphasis on "YOU." Read on to learn why using it is as a bad idea. It could be damaging to your friends AND you. Also read on for real reason it didn't work! Hint, it may have nothing to do with "being into you" or not.   So your friend is dating a person you think "isn't that into him/her." You try to be kind, by telling them this. After all, you don't want your friend to waste time or have a bro

How to be less nervous on your next interview!  No matter how much work experience you have, a shot at your dream job is likely to make your heart pound and your palms sweat. Try out these tips to reduce your anxiety and boost your confidence for that extra edge.  1) Prepare. The more prepared you are, the less worry you will have. Work with a career coach or friend in advance and practice answering questions your interviewer is likely to ask. Have your responses loosely memorized, so you sound conversational, but also know this information well enough to avoid using words like "uh" or "um." 2) Research. The more you research the company, their mission, and what the position will be like, the better informed you will be. A lot of nervousness comes from a lack of information. Ask other people in your network if they've heard anything about this company as well. 3) Work on yourself. People don't become more confident in a vacuum. They do so by practic

Is this how you feel without coffee?  Monday morning?  Did you load up on a big cup of coffee?  Caffeine can definitely help you focus, but it can also be a big roadblock to certain types of thinking. It can even put your brain in the  wrong  state of mind to think creatively, as I'll explain below. There is a definite time and place for it, as I'll explain.  CAFFEINE AND CREATIVITY  Your brain is in various states (that are measurable) during the day and night.  When you're asleep, your brain is in a Delta state. An Alpha state is how you feel when you're relaxed, creative, and thinking well (great for solving difficult problems). Beta is how you feel when you're late for the train and pushing through people on the street, or quickly processing (a huge stack) of boring paperwork at work. Theta is how you feel just before you fall asleep, or in a very deep meditation or hypnosis -- it's where your subconscious is accessible.  When you drink