NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

Boundaries allow us to be healthy individuals who can have close relationships. Without boundaries, other people can run all over us, using us, manipulating us, and leaving us emotionally depleted. It's like allowing strangers to walk right into your front door, and take a swig of milk straight from the carton...while possibly carrying out your TV on their way out. That vulnerable feeling is what it's like for a person who hasn't clarified their boundaries, or who doesn't yet know how to communicate them, and protect them. A broken boundary is a cringe-worthy, hold-your-breath moment of "ick." It means someone has just ignored your wishes. They have knowingly trampled over your values, taken more than their share, used you, or violated an agreement! Not a good feeling. But are you just being difficult? People who break your boundaries often may put the blame on YOU. They may say that you are being too hard nosed or difficult. Also, boundary-breakers are often ...

Often, we don't take action on a goal because of a small, tiny block. The 5 Fears that Hold us Back: 1. Not knowing where to start -- When you feed your mind a vague goal like "Become an actor" there are no tangible actions to DO, so you get stuck. How the heck do you "become an actor?" Of course you need a master plan of specific do-able goals, laid out over the course of many weeks. 2. Fear of success -- Our ego doesn't like change. And success is a change. Maybe you'll lose touch w/ your best friends and family? Maybe the bar will be set too high, and it'll be exhausting to keep achieving? Maybe you'll get a big head and lose touch with yourself. Maybe being in the spotlight will open you up to criticism that you're shielded from now? 3. Fear of failure -- Once again, our ego hates change. Failure hurts, and it makes you question your value, it can change how others view you, and it can affect your relationships and reputation. Enough sa...

When we're stuck in a rut, or repeating the same problems , it can feel that "things will always be this way." This leads us to feel that we cannot change -- a depressing thought -- you cannot teach an old dog new tricks, right? Here you are again, binging on potato chips (like always), stalking your ex's facebook profile (as you always do), or afraid to go for a promotion at work (just like last year), you can feel that your brain is set in stone -- it feels like you'll never change. Researchers have uncovered an exciting fact -- our brains are quite changeable -- we have the power to mold them like clay. Neuroplasticity is the brain's natural ability to re-wire itself. This phenomenon is not limited to the childhood developmental years -- adults can make big changes. This means you can learn to literally change your mind (and behaviors), with a few simple techniques. This is especially helpful for people who have OCD-like problems, e.g., needing to do thin...

Fall is symbolic of letting go of old withered leaves , letting them change color, and then drop, knowing that eventually, new fresh leaves will grow to replace the old. Change in our own lives has a cycle as well. It works best to ALLOW and even WELCOME change, by realizing that whatever has left our lives, needed to leave (exactly at the time it did). What is not meant-to-be for your life, needs to make a swift exit -- otherwise what IS meant to be for you will become blocked, leading to unhappiness. Just as it would be odd if a tree insisted on clinging to its old brown leaves, insisting they were once green, we too need to shed the leaves in our lives, so that we can regrow fresh new bright green leaves. To give yourself a fresh fall new-life, write down these 6 questions. Leave them on your desk for 1-3 days. Don't force yourself to answer them, but simply repeat the questions to yourself -- see what comes up for you. You may have an immediate answer, or you may be surprised ...

Whether you are a business professional in a crowded office, or you work for yourself, use these tips to give your desk a productivity make-over! DESK DISTRACTIONS TO AVOID 1. CELL PHONES/SOCIAL NETWORKING WEB SITES -- Personal cell phones are a huge distraction at work. Yes, it's exciting to get a fun text, BUT we all know how easy it is to spend the whole day texting, checking social networking sites, or even chatting with friends online -- where did the day go? This isn't a problem for killing down-time, but if you're someone who is stressed because you never have enough time, this is a great way to carve out a few more hours in your week -- these minutes really do add up. Focusing on your work will make you more competitive for your next promotion or landing that business deal -- and you'll feel more accomplished at the end of the day. Many of my clients have struggled with this common problem, whether working in a traditional office or at home. When we switch task...

Choose your thoughts for the day, the way you'd select your outfit. You don't tell people, "I can't change this outfit. I've been wearing it for a month. It's just what I wear." No. You can change your clothes, and you can change your thoughts. When you find thoughts that no longer support your goals, simply change them. Yes, thoughts become habits. This is a good thing, because your NEW thoughts will become a strong good habit in 2-3 weeks. HOW TO DO IT 1) What thoughts will support your goals? 2) REPEAT THESE THOUGHTS to yourself throughout your day. 3) DON'T BLOCK YOUR FEELINGS. On the flip side, listen to your feelings and feel them completely, without judging. Then correct any untrue thoughts. Example: 1) Today I'm going to eat healthy because it makes me feel good. 2) Repeat this thought during day to self. Write it on a sticky at your desk. Set your cell phone to alert you to the thought several times a day -- just set it as an item on your...

Signs you're dating a sociopath: http://www.yourtango.com/201179136/10-signs-youre-dating-sociopath 1. Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting. 2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that. 3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends. 4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch. 5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems. 6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they'd be better off telling the truth. Is It Possible To Spot A Liar? 7. Intense eye con...