How to Fade Fear in 8 steps!
We all feel fear rise up as we consider taking action. Follow these steps to clear out the fear and get what you want faster! Fears aren't rational and this exercise will help to guide you back to feeling aligned with your goals.
1. Think about taking action.
2. Feel the fear rise up -- write down your experience of the fear. (Does your heart pound? where you feel it in your body? Does it feel like a cold block of ice on your chest? What color is it? Is the fear trying to prevent something from "harming" you?
3. What harm is the fear trying to prevent? What bad outcome could happen that you're afraid of?) Let the fear grow and ask it to "talk to you" to explain why it's so afraid. Close your eyes, breathe and try to visualize what the fear is trying to show you.
4. Listen -- you may see images, feel sensations of fear in your body or remember painful memories.
5. Acknowledge the fear like you would talk to a screaming child -- say "It's OK, I know you're scared, but your reasons don't make sense. This situation isn't going to harm us as you think it is."
6. Tell your fear that you have good approaches and are working to improve things by taking action that could bring good results. Visualize the success you're after and tell the fear "this is why I'm taking this action." If you feel resistance, go back and repeat the exercise from step 1 until you uncover all aspects of the fear.
7. Ask for your fear to support your new efforts. Say to the fear "Can you be on board with me, in making this happen?" If "yes" then "Great, I'm glad you're on board -- please help me to think of new, better ways to accomplish this."
8. Visualize the success you're after. Ask the fear to be your partner in discovering the best actions to bring this about.
An example of how you might answer:
1. ok
2. The fear feels like pricks around my lower neck, almost like shocks warning me not to do it. If it was a color it'd be yellow. It feels like my heart is jumping or fluttering a bit in an unpleasant way.
3. Fears. Note: This took about 10 minutes of contemplating to get any answers.
5. Talked to the fear and told it "I know you're scared because this is new and it's like jumping into choppy shark infested waters -- you're afraid of being harmed...You're afraid of failing and then not having any hope left of something better. This situation won't harm us the way you think it will, because no matter what doesn't work, I will think of another approach. So there is no harm in trying, because the hope doesn't die with a small failure, it will grow as I seek out other approaches that work better -- failing could even fine tune things faster, leading to happy positive outcomes more quickly. So there is nothing to fear. You will be strong enough to handle it. And your dreams are possible and will be possible regardless of anything, if you make them happen.
6. ok. At first, visualized a brick wall. Then realized was afraid of failing and getting so upset that I'd never take action again. Realized that even if that happened, I could always change the approach at any time, regardless, and still achieve the same end goal. Saw myself being more fluid. Saw it being easy, fun, relaxed, more like "me" and less like someone else's approach. Saw it as more of a solid, real thing. More stable and realistic. Clear like the sky is blue.
7. The fear "agreed." Felt much calmer after. Felt like the fear was actually processing a bit, or maybe even thinking of solutions in the back of my mind. Felt more aligned and centerred instead of pulled in different directions. Felt that taking action would now be much easier.
8. Felt like the goal was more tangible after "seeing" it in a visualization. Felt more relaxed. Can see myself taking action faster and not procrastinating now.
1. Think about taking action.
2. Feel the fear rise up -- write down your experience of the fear. (Does your heart pound? where you feel it in your body? Does it feel like a cold block of ice on your chest? What color is it? Is the fear trying to prevent something from "harming" you?
3. What harm is the fear trying to prevent? What bad outcome could happen that you're afraid of?) Let the fear grow and ask it to "talk to you" to explain why it's so afraid. Close your eyes, breathe and try to visualize what the fear is trying to show you.
4. Listen -- you may see images, feel sensations of fear in your body or remember painful memories.
5. Acknowledge the fear like you would talk to a screaming child -- say "It's OK, I know you're scared, but your reasons don't make sense. This situation isn't going to harm us as you think it is."
6. Tell your fear that you have good approaches and are working to improve things by taking action that could bring good results. Visualize the success you're after and tell the fear "this is why I'm taking this action." If you feel resistance, go back and repeat the exercise from step 1 until you uncover all aspects of the fear.
7. Ask for your fear to support your new efforts. Say to the fear "Can you be on board with me, in making this happen?" If "yes" then "Great, I'm glad you're on board -- please help me to think of new, better ways to accomplish this."
8. Visualize the success you're after. Ask the fear to be your partner in discovering the best actions to bring this about.
An example of how you might answer:
1. ok
2. The fear feels like pricks around my lower neck, almost like shocks warning me not to do it. If it was a color it'd be yellow. It feels like my heart is jumping or fluttering a bit in an unpleasant way.
3. Fears. Note: This took about 10 minutes of contemplating to get any answers.
- I could do a lot of effort with no result and waste time, energy, etc.
- I could embarass myself.
- I could run into someone I know and look foolish.
- If it doesn't work, maybe it means my goal isn't realistic -- I don't want to accept that, as it would mean other unpleasant things happening.
- I'd rather live in a dream world where this is possible -- if I take action and fail, maybe it isn't possible.
- I don't want to give up on it, and may have to if it fails -- it's easier to cling to the hope -- and what if there is no hope left?
- Will I be strong enough to continue?
- Taking action could equal a failure.
- It's nicer to see it as a possible win, instead of a confirmed defeat.
- I'm not sure I could handle the defeat, ETC.
5. Talked to the fear and told it "I know you're scared because this is new and it's like jumping into choppy shark infested waters -- you're afraid of being harmed...You're afraid of failing and then not having any hope left of something better. This situation won't harm us the way you think it will, because no matter what doesn't work, I will think of another approach. So there is no harm in trying, because the hope doesn't die with a small failure, it will grow as I seek out other approaches that work better -- failing could even fine tune things faster, leading to happy positive outcomes more quickly. So there is nothing to fear. You will be strong enough to handle it. And your dreams are possible and will be possible regardless of anything, if you make them happen.
6. ok. At first, visualized a brick wall. Then realized was afraid of failing and getting so upset that I'd never take action again. Realized that even if that happened, I could always change the approach at any time, regardless, and still achieve the same end goal. Saw myself being more fluid. Saw it being easy, fun, relaxed, more like "me" and less like someone else's approach. Saw it as more of a solid, real thing. More stable and realistic. Clear like the sky is blue.
7. The fear "agreed." Felt much calmer after. Felt like the fear was actually processing a bit, or maybe even thinking of solutions in the back of my mind. Felt more aligned and centerred instead of pulled in different directions. Felt that taking action would now be much easier.
8. Felt like the goal was more tangible after "seeing" it in a visualization. Felt more relaxed. Can see myself taking action faster and not procrastinating now.
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