NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

Quiz: Who in the above photo is perfect?  No one is actually perfect. But many of us pretend to be. Your real goal should be to become "perfect at not being perfect," and even that will come with some mistakes :). Perfectionism happens from an unrealistic idea, a fallacy, that you must be 100% perfect, and a single flaw means you are 100% loser. This is untrue all-or-nothing thinking. Yet, our society promotes this idea, and if you subscribe to it you will exert huge effort towards your impossible goal of perfection. You'll get a high off of feeling that others are seeing you as flawless (in those brief moments where things line up just right), and the rest of your human existence will feel slightly mortifying (ugh I cannot believe I had a typo in my Facebook post!! Everyone will think I'm a huuge loser now....Oh the shame...the shame). Do you do this? If you feel "I must be perfect," this pressure it will cause you to: *Procrastinate -- the stak...

When climbing a ladder, or hiking up a steep mountain path, you'll likely hear shouts of "don't look down!" The idea is that we'll get so overwhelmed and scared of heights, that we'll freeze up and fall. So it's best to just pretend we aren't that high up. Basically, denial. "Don't look." We also experience this "don't look" issue when we contemplate going for a new goal.  Right before undertaking a new goal, "don't look up!" is our fear. When you "look up" at your goal, whether you are about to hike up a huge mountain, scale a rock wall, or climb the corporate ladder -- it's scary to "look up" and see what lies before you in its full, challenging detail.   Again, "don't look." It's just as scary to "look up" as to look down, because to really SEE what is up there, means taking in the enormity of your goal . Not ignoring it in denial. It means s...

When reaching your goal you need both inspiration and encouragement. Inspiration is that initial spark you need to get going. Encouragement is what you need when the going gets tough (and it will get tough when you have a worthwhile goal!). If you don't have your own personal coach that you're meeting with weekly to help you stay inspired, encouraged, and upbeat -- not everyone can afford one -- the next best thing is to collect meaningful phrases, quotes, and images -- these will help inspire and encourage you during your most daunting times. If you can afford a coach, www.yourdreamslifecoach.com for rates.  It's always helped me to keep inspiring quotes close at hand. I like to keep my favorites on my iphone, so I can quickly pull them up during frustrating moments to keep my focus. Waiting for the subway, in an elevator, or a few minutes of downtime is all I need to pull myself back on track. I'm posting a whole plethora of quotes with images below.  Keep...

Guys are you taking The Game too far? The original appeal of this approach, of "negging" girls and acting laid back and like you didn't care, and acting cocky/funny (google this phrase for 11,600,000 results), was that it was unusual. It caught attractive girls off guard -- you weren't just another loser showering her with compliments. You were unique. Because you were insulting and ignoring her. Go you. But times have changed. It's not your fault, but you need to adapt. Rewind way back, 10 years, long, long ago. "The Land Before Negs." Way before "The Game took" hold of the country. This time period, for those of us who can remember, was "The Age of Compliments." Most guys were saying things like "Wow you are so pretty" and "I can't believe you actually went out with me" and "great dress." Due to this being the norm, when The Game became popular, a guy actually STOOD OUT if he refrained from ...

Becoming an overnight entrepreneur? Easier said than done -- a lifetime of structure (from education to the corporate world) can make it difficult to fly off on your own. But it can be done! Can I sharpen my pencil now? Do you remember asking your grade school teacher this question, as you anxiously awaited the answer with that broken lead staring at you. Then, it's asking your boss for vacation, or awaiting your next project. But what happens when YOU are the person who not only asks, but answers? What happens are a lot of hurdles that will set you back. These things are certain to, at one time or another, really bother you. Knowing is half the battle, and understanding that every other entrepreneur has dealt with these same problems is reassuring. What are the hurdles for a person who has always had the structure of a regular, corporate job, to switch to the unstructured and unknown world of entrepreneurship? There are many, but here are the top 2...

When contemplating your big goal , whether that's a new business, career change, finding a relationship, improving your health, etc., it can be easy to say "This will be easy. I know I want this!" However, if you find yourself taking one step forward and two back, procrastinating, trying to convince yourself (or others) that "everything is fine" and "you're just taking a break," etc., you may have a part of you that's not on board with your goal. You may also experience anxiety whenever you attempt a task, or feel generally depressed with a "whatever" or "who cares" attitude. This means there is a part of you that is not "on board" with your new goal. That's okay, because most of us experience this phenomenon when we tackle new goals. But there is a way to handle this, and there is a way this can destroy you. To handle it, you need to DISCOVER what your inner conflict is. To have this destroy you? IGNORE. It ca...

Yes, we all know the standard "dating safety tips." We know it's important to have your first date in a public place, right? At least I hope we do. Going to some guy's apartment so he can "make you dinner" on your howaboutwe date is like wearing a sign that says "This is crazy, but kill me maybe?" Guys don't typically feel they have to give this topic much thought. But trust me, you do. Here are the top 5 dating dangers you've never thought about, to keep an eye out for. 1) He brings a female friend (or friends). Don't let your guard down. There's an inclination to think, oh, this is another girl, so she'll make sure nothing crazy happens to me in this situation. Especially if the girl becomes your instant friend and invites you to another location (like an apartment), be your normal cautious self. Don't assume because this is a girl, or that because there is a group of people, that you're any safer than being with a nea...