The Power of Embracing the Present Moment -- and the One Thing That Stops Us
We all want to live in the present moment, feeling connected, centered, and blissfully happy. We want to "tune in" to life around us. Yet often, this is the opposite of what happens. And despite the books we read, or the meditation classes we attend, it just seems impossible! Read on to find out what the real roadblock is, and how to change it.
One thing that seeps into the present moment, is the past. All of the good and bad things about it. The comfort of remembering it, the shame of any bad things which we did. The mistakes and embarrassing moments.
Remember that the past is gone. It happened because it needed to happen. You needed to experience it, in order to grow more fully into yourself. Now you've grown. And that past isn't yours anymore. It belongs to the "old you."
The future will be yours. It will belong to the "new you" you're about to become.
But right now, the only thing you own, is this moment. It is yours. Do you see how where you're at now, is the perfect place to be? Because it's what makes the YOU you are right now, you. :) The bad things happening now are sculpting you into a better version of yourself, based on learning to cope and handle these problems. The good things happening right now are leading you towards even MORE amazing wonderful things in your life.
So all you have to do is allow this, JUST BE, and trust in yourself. Listen to yourself, and stand firmly where you are, embracing ALL of it -- the bad and the good. Knowing it's all helping you to become the best version of yourself.
You don't need to escape or run from anything anymore, when you do this -- and you know we all run in a variety of creative ways, from addictions, to changing the subject, to working to many hours or making destructive decisions. You know you've become powerful enough to embrace the moment -- with all of its pain and its beauty. Sometimes the most intense physical or emotional pain leads us to (even just moments) of the most amazing bliss, and to knowing ourselves greater. So accept it, whatever it is. And accept yourself, however you are right now. And remember, you are fluid and you change from moment-to-moment. So let it all be beautiful.
Just BE and ALLOW. Embrace and know that your body, mind, and soul can handle all of it. A strong part of you will rise up to take control, and the softer part of you will be comforted by the calm and loving part of you.
This is a relief because ALL of the mistakes you've made, big and small, were necessary for you. Even if you haven't grown yet, you have the potential to soon grow. If you've avoided something, you now have the chance to deal with it. If you've run, you can now stop and plant your feet.
It's your mistakes that show you where you stepped off of your path.
Those bad feelings you feel? Don't stifle them. They're big signs pointing you back to your path! That's why they feel so bad. Listen. Embrace it.
That's all you need to do.
Meditation is a great way to start practicing this, but you don't have to meditate. You just need to tune into yourself right now. Just notice what is around you. Is it pleasing or not? Who is around you? What is their energy like? What is your own energy like? What does it feel like to be YOU right NOW? What's going on right now? In you, and around you?
What Prevents Us From Living in "Right Now"
There are many things which distract us from living in "right now." Worries, bad memories, exciting future plans, work demands, etc. We all get distracted by life.
But the number one thing I see in my clients that prevents them from living in "right now"?
Drum roll please...
Black-and-white thinking!
When we engage in black-and-white thinking it leads to distracting worry. It also leads us to NOT take action on important goals, because "If it's impossible, why should I try?" The result is depression from feeling things are "impossible" and from accumulated bad results (not taking good action does lead to bad results of course). It all starts with the black-and-white thinking!
Here are some examples.
"I'll never date again/have time to date/be attractive enough for anyone to date me/everyone out there is a looser, etc." (Really? Never ever?)
-This person stops dating due to this belief. They don't meet anyone and become lonely and depressed. They begin to imagine their future being just as miserable, if not worse. This leads them to worry about their future. The fact that they are still alone just further convinces them that their WRONG thought is TRUE.
"Every job interview I've gone on was awful/it's impossible to get a good job these days, etc." (Really? Every second of every single one? There were never any good moments?)
-This person stops interviewing, and then stops applying. Why bother if it's impossible? They don't get a job, have money problems which are stressful, and begin to worry about living on the street.
All of the above leads to distracting worry. If you never have time to date, well then what? Yikes!! Will you be alone forever? Will you miss out on having a family? Will you be miserable? These thoughts distract you from being in the present moment, because they are so negative and intense.
If you believe it's "impossible to get a good job these days," you'll then start to worry about what will happen to you without a job. Will you end up homeless!? Will you have to beg for loans from friends or banks? Will you be miserable for the rest of your life shivering under a bridge? Oh no!!!
Clearly it's difficult to focus on the present moment with BIG fears like this floating around!! Fears created by black-and-white thinking.
Especially frustrating, is that black-and-white thinking is a LIE. It's a fallacy. It's a bunch of junk we're telling ourselves is the truth.
----The Solution?
The solution. Get rid of the black-and-white thinking you're engaging in. We all do it sometimes, and we can all stop doing it.
What black-and-white thoughts have you had lately? Though we all have them sometimes. But some people are more in the habit than others. Some of us have been caught up in this cycle more than others, which means some of you reading are more depressed and have had worse results than others.
This isn't your fault, but it's the result of this kind of thinking.
*I will never get ____(good thing) because of _____(bad thing)" This is what we need to stop.
If It's Bad For Us, Why Do We Do It?
Event though we get these "perks" of feeling stable and certain by using black-and-white thinking, it unfortunately, it leads us to WHOLE LOT of bad effects, such as ignoring taking action on important goals, depression, and worry -- and of course, this ALL makes it VERY difficult to stay present in the MOMENT when we have such big scary fears on our minds!! What a frustrating trap to fall into? Because the present moment is where we feel the greatest happiness, we also are starved of this, making it harder to climb out of this trap.
So basically, black-and-white thinking makes us miserable. But in the short-term, it gives us a little high of "I'm in control," and "I know what's going on."
"Well I know that ___(bad thing) will happen, because it ALWAYS has." or "I can't expect to get ____(good thing) because I never have before."
Get rid of this, banish black-and-white-thinking from your brain, tell it to "be quiet" when it comes out of your mouth, and you'll notice your path begins to become SO much easier! And it's not tough to do. This is how.
Don't allow these bad effects to keep happening to you. Change your thinking, starting right NOW, in this present moment. :)
How To Do Open-Minded Thinking
That's it!
Try that out for a week -- or even just try it right now -- and you'll immediately be shocked at how much it changes you!!! You'll feel more positive, motivated, and excited about your life.
*Even thought I got laid off, I expect an amazing job to come my way soon. (This will make it feel "right" to take action and apply to jobs -- see how this works?)
*Even though I've met awful dates for five years, I expect the right person to soon come into my life. (See how this positive energy will draw others to you, and make you more excited about your dates?)
*Even though I've had serious health problems/or perhaps depression or other problems in the past, I anticipate my future becoming much, much healthier and calmer. (See how this calmness will help heal you, and give you a bit more energy to lead you to seek out the right solutions for you?)
*Even thought I've always been a black-and-white thinker, I expect to now become an open-minded-thinker.
When You Think in This Way
This is why it's so important to correct black-and-white thinking, and replace it with open-minded thinking.
Try it Right Now! In this One Moment that is Yours
All of your worries about the future are based on what's happened in the past, but the past is gone, and the future doesn't exist yet. For calmness, re-write your black-and-white thoughts to the TRUTH, with open-minded thinking. Just plug your black-and-white thoughts into the above phrase. This will help you reduce worry, and increase the odds of getting what you want.
When we write our futures based on what's happened in our pasts, we get "stuck" in expecting bad things to happen, we worry, we become drained and lose motivation -- and we lose our focus on the present moment.
Stay in this one great moment you have right now -- this very second, and then the next. Changing your thinking will be your foundation to doing that.
Try it out right now!
"Even though (bad thing happened in the past), I expect great things such as (good thing) for my future."
It could just change your life for the better :)
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