NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

Spring is a beautiful time of new beginnings. It's a time to plant new flowers, and to watch old seeds finally blossom. It's also a time to clear out the plans that have failed, and are withering, and the weeds that are simply taking up space and draining away sunlight and soil nutrients from the good flowers that need these resources. What do you need to uproot? What do you need to plant? What are you excited to see finally blossom? Remember that even a blank plot of soil is a beautiful thing -- so if you life feels empty and depressing, you have a whole endless field of raw potential to work with -- plan exactly what you want, uproot what you don't, and watch your field become a beautiful place to be. Can you see yourself running through the fields, laughing -- smiles lit with golden sunlight --joking with others, chasing children, or whatever beautiful things you can imagine? See it, and know that your vision will be created by your intention, your actions, and your stro...

Promises may fit the friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies. ~Benjamin Franklin Promises are agreements which bond people together, both in relationships and business. And breaking promises is a great way to create distrust, weak relationships, and lack of cooperation -- it's an antisocial behavior, much like lying, that can be extremely destructive to relationships, both in business and personal life. A new study shows the people who break promises have different brain activity than those who don't. Despite the fact that both initially appear the same as they swear to keep their promise. The study from the University of Zurich revealed that brain activity may reveal malicious intentions far before the deceit is performed -- breaking a promise triggers an emotional conflict as the promise-breaker struggles to provide an honest-seeming response -- this shows up on the brain scans. Perhaps in the future you may be able to scan a murder's brain to see if th...

Mistakes are a good thing that allow us to fine-tune, realize when we're off course, and make a better choice next time. 1) own up, 2) Learn 3) Forgive yourself 4) Choose a new choice next time. Don't fear the mistake. Fear not fixing it. Making mistakes help us to break through to the next level. They help us fine-tune. Don't fear making a mistake. Does anyone remember learning to ice-skate or roller skate? There is a point where a beginner is able to stand up on the skates and hesitantly move forward, without falling. "Yay, no falling!" However, are they really "skating?" Not really. I mean, look at any rink at the beginners who look like terrified stiff robots -- they're able to somehow propel themselves forward, seemingly without moving their arms or legs. They appear to need a push from a friend to pick up any speed. They've found one way to "skate" that includes holding their body in a stiff way, and they look pretty ridiculous a...

How often do you hear people say to "follow your heart" or to "make a pro/con" list? There is much debate about the best way to make decisions, and you hear it everyday -- especially during rush hour on the subway: "You're so illogical!" or "You have no heart!" Surprisingly, neither emotion or logic is the best way to make a decision. What is the better choice? Go with your gut! Your gut seamlessly combines all of the information from both your logical left brain, and the information from your emotional right brain, and spits out a perfect solution that resonates and feels "right" to both your logic and emotional sides. That's right, both logic and emotion is a limited source of information. Your logic is like a computer print-out with a list of facts. Your emotions are like the indicator lights on your car dash board, alerting you to possible problems within the car. Both contain valuable sources of information when making a de...

It happens at work, in business, and in our personal lives. There is a person who seems nice, always ready to help you out -- HOWEVER, you have a nagging feeling of insecurity. Are you being used? Or is it something else? This is how to tell if you are being used: 1) FEAR -- If you ever denied one of their requests, you FEAR a negative reaction , perhaps they would even fire you, de-friend you, or terminate whatever relationship you currently have. This is the number one SIGN that you are being used! ding, ding, ding! Users send messages that denying their request would spell doom for you -- and this is how they manipulate you. If you are worried that saying any of the following "No, sorry, I can't finish that extra report tonight; I can't help you move; I won't do your homework for you this time; I can't make it tonight; or I don't have time to help you buy a new TV," then you are probably dealing with a people-user. Whether you CHOOSE to ALLOW them to ...

A micro-manager is like a parent who forbids their child learn bicycle riding, because they might get hurt. And that child, lacking the experience to know how to ride a bike, risks getting severely hurt if they should ever hop on a two-wheeler. Versus the parent who lets the child learn (and fall off a few times), until they are a solid and strong bicycle rider. Giving a child, or an employee, that freedom creates a stronger performance. This great article explains that micromanaging hurts performance by reducing an employee's ability to experiment and learn. Three professors from Rice University and Harvard Business School examined the performance of "hosts" at six MGM-Mirage Group hotel/casinos -- hosts are suppose to give high-rollers comps (free hotel rooms, discounts, show tickets, etc.). These casinos keep careful track of high-roller data, and they know the amount a high-roller usually spends -- they give the 40 percent comp on the amount the high-roller is e...

Just appeared in this NFIB Small Business Article, 4 Conversations-Starting Tips for Your Next Network Event: http://www.nfib.com/nfib-on-the-move/nfib-on-the-move-item?cmsid=56447 4 Conversations-Starting Tips for Your Next Network Event Networking for Small Business Networking events can be awkward, leaving you with sweaty palms, and little return on your investment of time and energy. But done right, they can connect you with future customers, employees and a sprawling web of vital contacts to help you in a pinch. Here are four tips to banish your inner wallflower and have great conversations at your next meet and greet. 1. Begin With the End in Mind First things first: it’s important to know what you want out of a networking event by defining what success looks like, says Julie Melillo, a New York-based life and business coach who shepherds CEOs and entrepreneurs through the social side of business. “Do you want to leave this networking event with 50 business cards? Do you want to ...

If you accept the status quo and mediocrity, that's exactly what you'll get. Make conscious decisions. Stick to them, even if you have to fight for it. This is the DIFFERENCE between being happy and being anything else. Do you want to die having hated 85 percent of your life? That's the path the MAJORITY of us are on. Change it. You can ENJOY and live your life. Or you can choose not to. This is a CHOICE. You wouldn't imagine how many rich, beautiful and famous people are bitter. Miserable. Feeling thrown around by life and out of control. WHY? Because they don't make conscious decisions. This means they feel they have no control. And they don't. They're at the MERCY of whoever or whatever is around. "Bob said I had to, so I did." Or "I felt pressured, and my manager wanted me to." Or "My dad wants me to." WHAT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT? You give up control and power by choice. Are you giving up yours? Take it back. This is how: 1. ...

try repeating this to yourself five times throughout your day today! "I am powerful, and I am building the life I want. If something isn't working, I'll find or create something new. I will navigate around obstacles, "no's", failures, roadblocks, closed doors, lack of experience -- these experiences will MOTIVATE me to find something new, and build my foundation of strength. Life is good (even if it's bad at this moment), because I'm building it to become what I want. I trust everything I need and want is on the way -- and when it comes rushing towards me, I will welcome it."