NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

Negative motivation will lure you with the promise of beating yourself up until you become successful , but it's a trap. "If I just berate myself a little bit more, I think I'll push myself to do better -- it has worked before." Yes there's something enticing about being that coach who screams at your boxer, "You no good piece of ____! Do better or go home, you idiot." Sure, sounds fun enough. And your temporary results seem to prove it works. Yeah, that boxer rushes out to meet his opponent with a big punch. So what's the problem with beating yourself up this way? What's wrong with being the "negative motivation coach" for yourself? Personal story: When I was in college, before every big test or paper or assignment, I'd really start to loathe myself deeply -- I'd convince myself that if I slacked I was destined to drop out of school and end up a miserable failure. I'd insist I WAS a miserable failure already, and the only ...

Secret of successful people...they use the question and answer technique! When you hit a roadblock, question and answer your way out of it. *If you don't know it, how could you find it out? *If you don't have clarity, how could you get it? *If your career/business path is a mystery, how could it become a clear plan? *If you feel lost, how could you feel found? Whenever you don't know, ask how you could find out. Or write down a huge question and break it into smaller chunks, and answer those. If you continue asking and answering questions in this way (perhaps hundreds of times), you WILL definitely get to your end result! :) Give it a try. This is a LOT of what I do as a coach! But you can learn to do this for yourself. It's not as easy as having your own coach, just as it's easier to get ripped with a personal trainer, but you can also life your own weights. Note: The pitfall here is that it's easy to get hung up on "But I don't know!!" a...

A Child Waiting for a Candy Bar How You're Being Manipulated to Stay in a Bad Relationship "She's hurt from her last relationship -- how long should I wait around for her to commit to me?" "He says we're just friends, but maybe someday that will change." "She doesn't love me yet, but she said to be patient." "He's still married, but doesn't even share a bed with her -- he really loves me...I think." "He won't marry me yet, but it's only been two years. My friends say to 'give it time." "He wants to move in, but he won't call me his girlfriend." In relationships, there often comes an unequal situation. One person crazy in love with the other, and the other, not so much. But maybe SOMEDAY! Yes, SOMEDAY things will be perfect! They really come around after (problems magically dissolve). Then it will be FANTASTIC! I'm writing this about relationships, but these same concepts can be a...

Becoming an overnight entrepreneur? Easier said than done -- a lifetime of structure (from education to the corporate world) can make it difficult to fly off on your own. But it can be done! Can I sharpen my pencil now? Do you remember asking your grade school teacher this question, as you anxiously awaited the answer with that broken lead staring at you. Then, it's asking your boss for vacation, or awaiting your next project. But what happens when YOU are the person who not only asks, but answers? What happens are a lot of hurdles that will set you back. These things are certain to, at one time or another, really bother you. Knowing is half the battle, and understanding that every other entrepreneur has dealt with these same problems is reassuring. What are the hurdles for a person who has always had the structure of a regular, corporate job, to switch to the unstructured and unknown world of entrepreneurship? There are many, but here are the top 2.  1) Losin...

Entrepreneurs, or those who want to be, fall into two categories -- the visionaries who are constantly flooded with new ideas and the doers who take action easily and put ideas into place. Either type can find success as an entrepreneur. VISIONARIES are big picture idea people, insightful, and might miss what's right in front of them (and walk right into a wall) because they are immersed in a theory or long-term plan or idea. They see how ideas fit together, and can easily imagine a completed plan down the road. It's easy for them to see "what needs to be done," but harder for them to...actually do it! This strength with the big picture means a weakness for taking action. First, it can be much more fun to think up new, fun ideas or solutions, versus implementing them. Second, taking repetitive action -- like knocking on doors or cold calling -- can be boring. Third, action can feel overwhelming for the big-picture visionary to even stop and consider taking ac...