The Enticing Lure of Negative Motivation -- You are the Boxer and the Coach

Negative motivation will lure you with the promise of beating yourself up until you become successful, but it's a trap. "If I just berate myself a little bit more, I think I'll push myself to do better -- it has worked before."

Yes there's something enticing about being that coach who screams at your boxer, "You no good piece of ____! Do better or go home, you idiot." Sure, sounds fun enough.

And your temporary results seem to prove it works. Yeah, that boxer rushes out to meet his opponent with a big punch. So what's the problem with beating yourself up this way? What's wrong with being the "negative motivation coach" for yourself?

Personal story: When I was in college, before every big test or paper or assignment, I'd really start to loathe myself deeply -- I'd convince myself that if I slacked I was destined to drop out of school and end up a miserable failure. I'd insist I WAS a miserable failure already, and the only way to claw out of this mess would be to do amazing on this one assignment. The result? I graduated Magna Cum Laude. But at what price? I was emotionally drained, always stressed out, I procrastinated, and it took me about 3-4 hours of intense self loathing before I could launch into action (that's some serious wasted time). But I felt it was the ONLY way to succeed, since it was the ONLY thing I knew that worked.

Anyone relate to this? A LOT of my clients gravitate towards this pattern of negative motivation. It's common.

Just because beating yourself up worked in the past, doesn't mean it's the most productive way to be successful. It's draining, and you'll never get to the very top level using negative motivation. Let me say that again, "YOU'LL NEVER GET TO THE VERY TOP LEVEL USING NEGATIVE MOTIVATION."

You're your own boxing coach. You get to scream whatever you want. Do you use negative motivation? If so, there's a point where your inner boxer gets fed up, sulks in the corner, and says, "F-you, too."

And all of those images you paint, that blueprint your mind builds, of you becoming a miserable failure? It's more likely to happen, because you are picturing it constantly! What you picture you in your mind, you build in your life. Yikes!!

The solution?

Don't let your boxer get to that point. Change your coach, and you change your boxer.

HOW TO FIX IT:

Build up your boxer with positive motivation. You are the BEST, so act like it. You've succeeded before, so let's see some more of that. Do you see how this creates a blueprint of being the best? Then that blueprint makes it easy to build a successful you.

Notice your own critical voice (your own boxing coach)...if it says "You suck" or "You can't" or "This isn't good enough," then 1) take a deep breath, 2) Tell it to be quiet, and 3) correct it.

Tell yourself, "I rock" and "I can" and "I will make it better, until it's good enough." Then focus on action: "What action can I take?"

Mistakes? Those are just tiny hiccups on the way to more success. No problem, and now on to your next action.

This approach will reinforce your own self concept as being AMAZING, instead of telling yourself that you are CRAP. We do live up to what we tell ourselves -- this is the danger of negative motivation. You might get some temporary successes beating yourself up into action, but you will end up having a blueprint of becoming CRAP instead of AMAZING. This limits your potential. Yikes.

Do you want to be a kinda-good boxer? Stay at this so-so level? Then keep practicing negative motivation on yourself. It's just draining enough that you won't have the energy or mental blueprint to break through to the next level. If you want to be the best of the best, start talking to yourself differently.

Change that blueprint to AMAZING, and you can then build up and up, to the top level. Do this by changing to positive motivation instead.

Motivate yourself with positive motivation, and you'll have more energy. Which means you can accomplish more, while feeling happier at the same time. This means you'll have momentum going to accomplish AMAZING things.

(Be patient. This kind of mental change doesn't happen overnight for anyone). It's a process and takes about 3 months to finally stick to your new approach. But it is possible. Contact me for coaching if you want to ensure you are using positive, not negative motivation. Otherwise you are putting a cap on your level of success. Visit www.yourdreamslifecoach.com for rates.

free digital photos. net. image.