NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

Based on our past experiences, we all decide what our limit will be -- this is our imaginary ceiling. We put a cap on our salary, our potential, and what we can expect in every area of life. Then, we work hard to justify the reasons we should stay here, even if those reasons are absurd -- we magnify any benefits from our current rut, and imagine the worst case scenarios when we picture making any changes. Unfortunately, we place this limit on ourselves based on completely subjective life experiences (painful or pleasant) that leave a lasting effect on how we see the world. This has nothing to do with the world itself, or what is ACTUALLY possible for you and your happiness. That's a shame, since this explains why most of us do give up on our dreams so easily. "I had a bad audition, so I'm clearly not meant to be an actress," or "I had a mean boss at a big bank, so it's clear all big companies are evil, and I'll only work for start-ups now," or ...

They say, "Karma is a bigger bitch than you." The problem is that we can be blind to mistakes we weren't even aware we were making. Yikes. Especially if you really liked the guy. So, my wonderful ladies of NYC, here are 2 of my top tips for not incurring evil-rude-girl karma debt!! 1. Don't insult the venue he chose. Guys get really nervous about planning dates. It feels like a big risk to them, because you might laugh in their face and say "Really? You thought this place was a good idea? " Girls don't understand the pressure guys put on themselves to plan the perfect date. Due to this, some guys opt out by just asking the girl to plan it (which is weak), but it explains why they do this -- they want to please you (or sometimes they are just lazy). Other guys will plan the date, but even the most confident guy will be a teensy bit worried that you'll diss his choice, "OMG this bar is so 2010" or "This is the worst mojito I've ever ...

As a dating coach for the past 5 years in Manhattan, I've heard it all from my clients -- who are both women and men (I have about half of each). So I have a great idea what annoys women. I also have received plenty of scary messages that I instantly delete. Before we begin, it won't help to get angry that "I can't believe this is how it is. It shouldn't be this way!!" This is the way it is. This is what women in the city respond to. Being pissed off won't help anymore than being outraged that you have to spell check your resume if you want a job. If you want to achieve a goal, there are certain things you have to do (and not do). Tell your ego to be quiet for a minute, and take this to heart. Deep breath now! Here are my TOP 2 tips for guys trying to online date in the city. 1) Guys -- Stop " negging " Stop it now. Negs, or those negative messages you tell a girl to throw her off balance, make her laugh, or just insult her, and NO longer in...

"Be Like Water" The working world today demands adaptability. Learn to swim, and learn to be like water -- this is the strength you can rely on throughout your career or business life. The current times are one of change, like water. If you can learn to float, swim, and adapt, you can accomplish anything. My clients -- and all of us -- are facing intense changes. A life-long career, gone, in one lay-off. A job, replaced by a computer. A marriage or relationship, gone. Money that had existed for bonuses, gone. An expectation of an easy life, gone. Something that had worked, no longer works. Losing is something that is difficult for all of us to face. It may be the hardest thing because it combines 1) CHANGE (which is scary for people), 2) with a blow to one's ego, 3) with a sense of loss e.g. mourning the past. Yikes! Three of the hardest things in life grouped together and delivered to you all at once in a "F my life" UPS box. That's a big pill to swallow. ...