Be Like Water...

"Be Like Water" The working world today demands adaptability. Learn to swim, and learn to be like water -- this is the strength you can rely on throughout your career or business life.

The current times are one of change, like water. If you can learn to float, swim, and adapt, you can accomplish anything.

My clients -- and all of us -- are facing intense changes. A life-long career, gone, in one lay-off. A job, replaced by a computer. A marriage or relationship, gone. Money that had existed for bonuses, gone. An expectation of an easy life, gone.

Something that had worked, no longer works.

Losing is something that is difficult for all of us to face. It may be the hardest thing because it combines 1) CHANGE (which is scary for people), 2) with a blow to one's ego, 3) with a sense of loss e.g. mourning the past. Yikes! Three of the hardest things in life grouped together and delivered to you all at once in a "F my life" UPS box.

That's a big pill to swallow.

I've seen people become completely disoriented, depressed, and lifeless following a blow like this -- it's understandable. We can become knocked out by change. You might waste days (or months) staring at your facebook page, or googling random things, or just sitting watching TV in your PJS, staying on the verge of tears for months. You might frantically call every friend you know and over-schedule your social calendar, or you might retreat, leaving friends and family wondering how you've been in the last 11 months. You might find an escape in food, binge drinking, or clubbing every night -- yes, it's a problem if you're at the club on a Tuesday night. Yes. Problem.

The solution.
Feel it. Ick...who wants to do THAT? It feels painful. ICK. But that is the only way to cleanse yourself of the negativity so you can move forward as a dynamic flowing adaptable river of water -- crashing around obstacles, nothing to ever stop you again.

I encourage my clients to embrace all emotions -- positive and negative -- and dive right into FULLY experiencing whatever it is that's coming up. You need to feel to heal. Your brilliant solutions won't come to you UNTIL you embrace it ALL. This might be a feeling of devastation, or "Who the heck am I if I'm no longer a _____." Who am I, if I can't afford those $3000 nights out anymore? Who am I NOW? You might feel worthless or lost or depressed or perhaps ALL of the above.

Once fully understanding your feelings, you'll be awakened to your logical side, where you can embrace the fact that FEELINGS are not FACTS. You can feel the world has ended, but yet in FACT the sun did rise today. You can FEEL there are NO (jobs, clients, options, solutions), but yet in FACT there are PLENTY of people out there (with no better qualifications or intelligence than you), who ARE scoring jobs, clients, options and solutions. I work with these people. They exist, and the opportunities exist also.

They EXIST. Your goals too, can take shape.

Is a list of excuses hitting you now? "I'm sure all of your clients went to Harvard. They're probably older/younger, smarter/dumber, more educated/less educated, more gorgeous/less gorgeous THAN ME. I assure you, I've seen every demographic, education level, income level, etc. STRUGGLE -- and they always blame the other demographic.

Our struggle is the same. There is no easy way out guys. EVEN my Harvard-educated clients (and there have been numerous ones), have had some of the biggest pits to crawl out of. No one gets it easy (for any length of time). They just don't tell you the truth, because no one shares these things at dinner parties.

Your excuses are keeping you stagnant like a BRICK. Not flowing like a river.

Throw that brick out the window, and dive in. You're just as good as anyone else, you deserve your goals and to see your DREAMS take shape, simply because you exist.

Once you REALLY accept that, you become water. You become strengthened by your painful trials and it creates an adaptability to quickly react and change, and others will be envious of you. There is nothing stronger than this.

"What can you take from me which is not already yours?" - Bruce Lee.

Whatever is gone, let it be gone. Let them have it. Give it to them if they want it so bad. You'll get even more, and you're meant for more.

Things that are meant for you, will stay there waiting for you, but you have to eventually SHOW UP and build a life that leads you to these prizes and treasures -- this requires an intense work ethic, integrity, and DECICATION to do anything in your power, DAILY, to bring you one-inch closer. It's no more impossible than brushing your teeth, but you need to DO IT every single day.

"The goal is not always meant to be reached, but to serve as a mark for our aim." -Josheph Joubert

If you don't brush your teeth, don't complain about your teeth falling out. And then don't blame bad teeth genes. Or say if you only were born in a rich family, or if only...just BRUSH your TEETH and this won't be a problem.

It's about taking FULL personal responsibility for your life. Do that, and you can have anything.

You are water. And it's time to flow into something new, something better.

At this point, clear-minded, you stand up and re-access.

Write your problems down on a piece of paper. An ACTUAL paper and pen. We so rarely use these items anymore, but writing with your own hand is powerful and tangible. Make a list and write "Problems to Solve."

It may be something like this: 1) Find new career. 2) Cover rent this month. 3) Find supportive friends.

You'll be surprised at how clarified and focused your list is. It actually will be a RELIEF to see that even the hugest problem, once written down, becomes an action task. An exciting challenge to tackle. Nothing more.