The Amazing Power of Decisions -- small ones!
Choosing is powerful.
It's easy to forget how vast our ability to change our own lives is. The fact is, we have a choice in everything -- every situation, every circumstance, every failure. We decide how we will respond and what choice we will make -- we have that ability to make powerful decisions every second we are alive.
Sometimes life brings disasters. When these disasters happen in our personal lives, we often take the blame and give up. Natural disasters somehow seem different don't they? But they're not. Things happen. What if the US reacted to natural disasters the way we often react to problems in our own lives? If there was a devastating flood somewhere in the US, what if the officials sat back and said "Darn. I guess we are really unlucky. We would help, but we're not very good at this 'rescue' stuff. Hopefully all those people had swimming lessons, and we'll try to save some people next year when we've had more time to get around to it."
Doesn't it make you feel anxious to even read that? It should make you feel just as anxious when you decide to give up on yourself, because you are just as important.
That's hard to imagine, but this is what we all do in our lives every day. We make a decision to give up.
Deciding with the word "but" instead of a the word "and"
We think things like this, "Oh, I could look for a new job, but...." "Yeah, it isn't my perfect relationship, but..." "I don't really love where I'm living, but..." "I always wanted to travel, but..." "No, I don't have many friends I click with here, but..." And so on. Can you see how every one of those is a choice?
Just change the "but" to an "and" and see what happens.
"Oh, I could look for a new job, and I'm going to google salary lists tonight." "Yeah it isn't my perfect relationship, and I think I'm going to schedule a therapy session to see if I can make this work or be happy like this, or I may want to move on." "I don't really love where I'm living, and I'm going to set up an account to save up for when I move soon." "I always wanted to travel, and I'm going to research my favorite countries." "No, I don't have many friends I click with here, and I'm going to ask my cousin where good places to meet people are." And so on...
The great part of giving up, is...it's a choice! We always have the ability to change a "but" to an "and." And all we need is the desire to do so.
Most of the time, what prevents us from seeing this clearly is: habit, thinking we are not good enough to ask for more, not having spent time thinking about what we want/deserve out of life, fear of the unknown, etc.
Choosing fresh
But these roadblocks are powerless against one extremely powerful thing that you already possess -- your ability to choose. At any moment, you simply need to choose -- and at that moment wheels start churning and forces start working that are beyond your comprehension. When you make a decision, and feel it is really what is best for you, everything changes and with far less work than you would think.
What is one "but" that you can change to an "and" right now?
It doesn't have to be huge. If your example is "I want my house clean, but I'm lazy" use your creativity to change the "but" to an "and." You could choose, "I want my house clean, and I will pay my son to clean it." Or, "I want my house clean, and I will only do the dishes tonight, and the rest tomorrow." Or, "I want my house clean and I know I'll feel better once it is finished, so I will blast music and just get it over with." Or, even this, "I want my house clean, and after thinking about it, I've realized it isn't my top priority and it can wait -- now I will do what is my top priority."
New choices every second -- it refreshes!
Every second we are faced with choices. And the next second our set of options refreshes. I think of this like a computer screen. Just hit refresh. Then choose again. We can decide differently. Even if you've decided to do something that has ruined your life for the past ten years, at this moment, the past is dead. The screen is refreshed. And you can decide differently -- right now. You aren't a bad person for having decided one way or another. It was just a choice. You didn't know what the choice would bring. It brought what it brought, and now if you want to choose something new -- go ahead! No one is stopping you from being happy. It's actually pretty easy.
We can use our results from the last decision to change our next one.
Decisions are easier and smaller than you think!
Life is made up of small decisions. These thousands of small daily choices add up, and at the end of that, we have our results. We link this together and draw conclusions that aren't real such as "I'm the sort of person who..." or "I'm bad at this because..." But we can't draw conclusions like that because the fact is -- we can choose again at any moment. The screen can refresh if we just allow it to -- if we choose to decide differently.
You can wake up tomorrow and no longer smoke. But isn't that a "big" decision? Nope. What would the first choose be in deciding to not smoke? Or in any decision -- financial, relationship, career, etc. The first decisions is always tiny. It isn't even difficult.
The next choice is equally small, and the next one too. Over time, these tiny decisions take you in one direction or another. And you get a result.
For example...
So, let's use an example. Let's say you're a person who has always smoked and lately you're smoking a lot. If you've been feeling unhealthy lately, if you've noticed your children coughing around you when you smoke and your boss glares when you take yet another break to smoke, and your spouse makes a face when you kiss them -- you might decide something. This decision is small. "hmm...maybe I will have one less today." That is a small decision. One less cigarette. Where that decision eventually takes you? Well, that's for many other small decisions to decide :)
You have complete and total power to decide to just end your financial problems. You can leave a bad relationship. Get a new job. Anything you want, you got it!! Those sound like "big" decisions, but let's really break it down.
What happens in one of these huge decision situations?
The first step usually starts with, "hmmmm....." You can make that sound can't you? This step is easy. Anyone can say "hmmm....what would I like? Say "hmmmm...." right now. "What outcome do I want that I'm not getting? hmmm...." You must admit, just about anyone can do that part, right? Did you do it? Did you get an answer?
Then, it's also easy to picture what you'd like instead. "Ahhh...I'd like to go for a nice walk in the park. The weather is gorgeous right now!" Really, isn't that something just about anyone can picture? Just something nice you'd like. What would you like?
And then, you choose to not replay your auto-pilot version of what you have chosen many times in the past, because you know you didn't like that choice, i.e. "Nah, I'm going to sit here on the couch because I don't have anyone to go on a walk with and I'm not a nature sort of person and I'm sort of overweight and lazy anyway..." What auto-pilot came up for you? Can you choose (at this moment) to put that on pause for a second?
Instead of that, the screen refreshes and you can choose again "hmmm...." What was it that you wanted? Back to our example, "yeah a walk would be so nice...I think I'm just going to put on my sneakers, just in case. And I think I might grab my sunglasses and my keys. And interesting, I think I might go out the front door and just see what the weather is like...and oh, look at that, I just went on a lovely walk and I feel so much better!" What would the easiest actions look like for you, if you chose to refresh the screen? What would you do in the next minute that is ridiculously easy thing to do?
Deciding small is very easy!
If I had said how difficult would it be to start a new exercise program that included walking, you'd probably say "very difficult!" But was that example difficult? Nope. All you did was say "hmmm...." and then it was a lovely walk. Your small decisions can lead you to great results too.
So don't underestimate your power of choosing small.
It's easy to forget how vast our ability to change our own lives is. The fact is, we have a choice in everything -- every situation, every circumstance, every failure. We decide how we will respond and what choice we will make -- we have that ability to make powerful decisions every second we are alive.
Sometimes life brings disasters. When these disasters happen in our personal lives, we often take the blame and give up. Natural disasters somehow seem different don't they? But they're not. Things happen. What if the US reacted to natural disasters the way we often react to problems in our own lives? If there was a devastating flood somewhere in the US, what if the officials sat back and said "Darn. I guess we are really unlucky. We would help, but we're not very good at this 'rescue' stuff. Hopefully all those people had swimming lessons, and we'll try to save some people next year when we've had more time to get around to it."
Doesn't it make you feel anxious to even read that? It should make you feel just as anxious when you decide to give up on yourself, because you are just as important.
That's hard to imagine, but this is what we all do in our lives every day. We make a decision to give up.
Deciding with the word "but" instead of a the word "and"
We think things like this, "Oh, I could look for a new job, but...." "Yeah, it isn't my perfect relationship, but..." "I don't really love where I'm living, but..." "I always wanted to travel, but..." "No, I don't have many friends I click with here, but..." And so on. Can you see how every one of those is a choice?
Just change the "but" to an "and" and see what happens.
"Oh, I could look for a new job, and I'm going to google salary lists tonight." "Yeah it isn't my perfect relationship, and I think I'm going to schedule a therapy session to see if I can make this work or be happy like this, or I may want to move on." "I don't really love where I'm living, and I'm going to set up an account to save up for when I move soon." "I always wanted to travel, and I'm going to research my favorite countries." "No, I don't have many friends I click with here, and I'm going to ask my cousin where good places to meet people are." And so on...
The great part of giving up, is...it's a choice! We always have the ability to change a "but" to an "and." And all we need is the desire to do so.
Most of the time, what prevents us from seeing this clearly is: habit, thinking we are not good enough to ask for more, not having spent time thinking about what we want/deserve out of life, fear of the unknown, etc.
Choosing fresh
But these roadblocks are powerless against one extremely powerful thing that you already possess -- your ability to choose. At any moment, you simply need to choose -- and at that moment wheels start churning and forces start working that are beyond your comprehension. When you make a decision, and feel it is really what is best for you, everything changes and with far less work than you would think.
What is one "but" that you can change to an "and" right now?
It doesn't have to be huge. If your example is "I want my house clean, but I'm lazy" use your creativity to change the "but" to an "and." You could choose, "I want my house clean, and I will pay my son to clean it." Or, "I want my house clean, and I will only do the dishes tonight, and the rest tomorrow." Or, "I want my house clean and I know I'll feel better once it is finished, so I will blast music and just get it over with." Or, even this, "I want my house clean, and after thinking about it, I've realized it isn't my top priority and it can wait -- now I will do what is my top priority."
New choices every second -- it refreshes!
Every second we are faced with choices. And the next second our set of options refreshes. I think of this like a computer screen. Just hit refresh. Then choose again. We can decide differently. Even if you've decided to do something that has ruined your life for the past ten years, at this moment, the past is dead. The screen is refreshed. And you can decide differently -- right now. You aren't a bad person for having decided one way or another. It was just a choice. You didn't know what the choice would bring. It brought what it brought, and now if you want to choose something new -- go ahead! No one is stopping you from being happy. It's actually pretty easy.
We can use our results from the last decision to change our next one.
Decisions are easier and smaller than you think!
Life is made up of small decisions. These thousands of small daily choices add up, and at the end of that, we have our results. We link this together and draw conclusions that aren't real such as "I'm the sort of person who..." or "I'm bad at this because..." But we can't draw conclusions like that because the fact is -- we can choose again at any moment. The screen can refresh if we just allow it to -- if we choose to decide differently.
You can wake up tomorrow and no longer smoke. But isn't that a "big" decision? Nope. What would the first choose be in deciding to not smoke? Or in any decision -- financial, relationship, career, etc. The first decisions is always tiny. It isn't even difficult.
The next choice is equally small, and the next one too. Over time, these tiny decisions take you in one direction or another. And you get a result.
For example...
So, let's use an example. Let's say you're a person who has always smoked and lately you're smoking a lot. If you've been feeling unhealthy lately, if you've noticed your children coughing around you when you smoke and your boss glares when you take yet another break to smoke, and your spouse makes a face when you kiss them -- you might decide something. This decision is small. "hmm...maybe I will have one less today." That is a small decision. One less cigarette. Where that decision eventually takes you? Well, that's for many other small decisions to decide :)
You have complete and total power to decide to just end your financial problems. You can leave a bad relationship. Get a new job. Anything you want, you got it!! Those sound like "big" decisions, but let's really break it down.
What happens in one of these huge decision situations?
The first step usually starts with, "hmmmm....." You can make that sound can't you? This step is easy. Anyone can say "hmmm....what would I like? Say "hmmmm...." right now. "What outcome do I want that I'm not getting? hmmm...." You must admit, just about anyone can do that part, right? Did you do it? Did you get an answer?
Then, it's also easy to picture what you'd like instead. "Ahhh...I'd like to go for a nice walk in the park. The weather is gorgeous right now!" Really, isn't that something just about anyone can picture? Just something nice you'd like. What would you like?
And then, you choose to not replay your auto-pilot version of what you have chosen many times in the past, because you know you didn't like that choice, i.e. "Nah, I'm going to sit here on the couch because I don't have anyone to go on a walk with and I'm not a nature sort of person and I'm sort of overweight and lazy anyway..." What auto-pilot came up for you? Can you choose (at this moment) to put that on pause for a second?
Instead of that, the screen refreshes and you can choose again "hmmm...." What was it that you wanted? Back to our example, "yeah a walk would be so nice...I think I'm just going to put on my sneakers, just in case. And I think I might grab my sunglasses and my keys. And interesting, I think I might go out the front door and just see what the weather is like...and oh, look at that, I just went on a lovely walk and I feel so much better!" What would the easiest actions look like for you, if you chose to refresh the screen? What would you do in the next minute that is ridiculously easy thing to do?
Deciding small is very easy!
If I had said how difficult would it be to start a new exercise program that included walking, you'd probably say "very difficult!" But was that example difficult? Nope. All you did was say "hmmm...." and then it was a lovely walk. Your small decisions can lead you to great results too.
So don't underestimate your power of choosing small.
http://www.yourdreamslifecoach.com
Want to find the best life coach for you and your goals? Need a new life? Career or personal dreams? Find out more about Life Coaching. I'm a NYC Certified Life Coach serving professional, ambitious clients -- I coach financial traders, attorneys, entrepreneurs, artists and anyone creating a big, brand new life.
Comments