NYC Life Coach, Julie Melillo

The wonderful time of Thanksgiving can also bring alive all kinds of family tensions that have been simmering all year long. How you deal with it can make the difference between tearing your hair out, and having a relaxing holiday. For many of my clients, there is at least one person they are nervous about seeing -- conflicting personality family members, ex-spouses, in-laws, or other potentially stressful situations. Try these tips to make your holiday more relaxing and enjoyable! Tips: 1. Remember that another people's decisions, words, and actions are NOT yours -- you can't control others, regardless of how awful or mean they are acting. Let go of trying to control others, or anticipate what they will do, since you DON'T have that power. 2. You DO have power over yourself. Make decisions about how you will spend your holiday, with which people, and decide who you will talk with more, and who will get less of your time. Remember to keep your behavior, choices and actions ...

Regardless of how gorgeous, beautiful and amazing a woman looks, her personality will be one of the following. Though all women has aspects of both, one will be more dominant at any point in time. 1)The insecure woman -- constantly applying make-up, obsessed with "problems" with their bodies, obsessively shopping, and other habits to cover up insecurity. Worries a lot and never seems to have enough, always looking for the next trend, the next thing to make that worrying feeling stop. She might even feel that looking perfect will make certain situations go better. 2) The secure woman -- look nice, but doesn't obsess about her appearance -- yet somehow attracts every eye in the room. Puts effort into how she looks, but doesn't worry too much -- what she thinks matters more than what others think. Focuses on doing things she likes that make her happy and doesn't worry much about the rest. And this has very little to do with how a woman looks. Wouldn't you assu...

The simple things -- those obvious things that make you happy but which aren't "practical" or "productive" -- are too often overlooked. We value work so much in our society, that it can lead us to forget how important other things are, e.g., having people who care about you, taking care of your health, and doing things you enjoy is. We could all be so much happier if they taught us those things from an early age! But instead we seem to often focus on hard work and hopefully, eventually stumble upon happiness. Sometimes, it can seem "lazy" or even "selfish" to take that time to develop your happiness -- the good things in your life -- which is ridiculous, as those things make life good! And they also make it easier to work hard, as your health, heart and mind are supported. What "simple things" do you need to feel good? To be your best and happiest? Make a list and then seek those things out! There's nothing wrong with knowing y...

It's the glimmer, that sparkle in someone's eyes, no matter how far away their goals and dreams seem. It's what makes room for that passion to spark into something unstoppable. It's what made me want to move to NYC, and what makes me excited to stay here. Potential is the reason I'm excited every time I sit down with or start a call with a client. All of us, no matter where we've been, or who we have been, have SO much more potential than we could ever realize. More to uncover, uncharted waters and struggles and adventures that will take us from now to places we could never imagine. To good things we thought didn't exist. They DO. And it's the potential, that room to create something new, that gleam in your eyes, that will take you there. Think about your own potential. It may seem impossible and far, far away. But things often seem different from how they are. We are wrong all the time. So if you've given up on your dreams, you may very well be wron...

what inspires you? recharges you? It's probably something you haven't done in 10 years or more. Or something you've never done. Burnout is so common that most of us don't even realize we ARE burned out. It just feels normal. But that's not normal. That's not how you need to be anymore. It seems like a waste to be "inspired" and "recharge" doesn't it? You'd rather be ACCOMPLISHING right? Well, without that fuel, you are a car driving on empty. You are SLOW. Unfocused, lacking energy. People can feel your energy. They know when you are burned out. It affects everything. So make a list of 10 things that make you feel vibrant, alive, that makes your skin tingle and your heart feel light. Those things that effortlessly allow you to feel energy and want to take off running and laughing. DO those things. You deserve it! And it will build the foundation, the rich soil, from which you can ACCOMPLISH, quickly, happily. You can drag your feet th...

We all feel fear rise up as we consider taking action. Follow these steps to clear out the fear and get what you want faster! Fears aren't rational and this exercise will help to guide you back to feeling aligned with your goals. 1. Think about taking action. 2. Feel the fear rise up -- write down your experience of the fear. (Does your heart pound? where you feel it in your body? Does it feel like a cold block of ice on your chest? What color is it? Is the fear trying to prevent something from "harming" you? 3. What harm is the fear trying to prevent? What bad outcome could happen that you're afraid of?) Let the fear grow and ask it to "talk to you" to explain why it's so afraid. Close your eyes, breathe and try to visualize what the fear is trying to show you. 4. Listen -- you may see images, feel sensations of fear in your body or remember painful memories. 5. Acknowledge the fear like you would talk to a screaming child -- say "It's OK, ...