Big presentation? Job interview? Date with potential? Need more confidence fast? Of course you do. Even the boldest of us can use an extra shot of flair.
Here's how. It's all in the mindset.
1. Let go of the outcome! You don't control it. Example: you can't hire yourself, agree to a date with yourself, pay yourself money, change the results of an exam, etc. Those are outcomes and you CAN'T control outcomes. So don't beat yourself up about what you can't control -- the end result is NOT in your control.
2. INSTEAD: What IS in your control are the actions you take. Take all the shots you would take if you weren't scared. Do them the BEST you can at that time.
3. Make a list of "fearless" things you would do if you were ridiculous confident! Do them. Even if you are scared. Focus on DOING the action, FORGETTING the outcome. Doing another action. This will increase your odds for eventually reaching your end goal faster, with less frustration (since it's frustrating to try to control what you can't). And always immediately forgive any mistakes you make -- we're all constantly learning and are human. Forgiving yourself will allow you to learn and improve faster!
Note: This is of course a process. It becomes a habit the more often that you DO this. Try working on this at least weekly.
Want to get confident faster? Work with a Certified Life Coach once a week (1 hour phone session). Or in-person session in Manhattan. You set the agenda for the goal (personal or professional). It's more fun and a way to develop habits that support your goals, while creating faster results. Not bad for 1 hour a week! Trial Rate for your first two weeks! Discount Packages available. Email for consultation and details -- yourdreamslifecoach@gmail.com. Or visit www.yourdreamslifecoach.com
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
The struggle and joy of change
Enjoy this poem about the struggle and joy of change. I think the coaching process is truly amazing and wanted to try to capture a bit of it in this poem -- I hope you enjoy it! :) Wishing you much success in your goals.
You can also watch me reading this poem on You Tube.
You can also watch me reading this poem on You Tube.
Moment
blurring past
won't let me back
in
when I wrap this new paper
all around
a gift
and here we go
won't look back
no
a tree stretches out roots
grabbing soil like it should
strong grip
like ancient things flowing
right through
my bloodstream
and all the strength of ancestors
brings us to this point
this hesitation
survival
is easy when you live
blue sky swirling
white clouds mix
easy as lying down
it begins
now
feet sink into grass
into soil like a seed
standing
waiting to grow
always somewhat unpredictable
yet as certain as the seasons
impossible to contain
like the rain
a choice to yell
or hush intentions behind a whisper
to get up
and leave
or stand still
like plaster
behind tall things
hiding
and I wasn't so sure before
but now I feel the light of morning
sun pierces my eyes
I'm cutting away uneven ties
and tides will bring in
everything they should
and standing back
waiting to see everything
the next day promises to
bring
vibrant, strong shimmering things
and maybe this won't be
so hard
after all
even the longest fall
is just a moment before
the wave rises
again
blurring past
won't let me back
in
when I wrap this new paper
all around
a gift
and here we go
won't look back
no
a tree stretches out roots
grabbing soil like it should
strong grip
like ancient things flowing
right through
my bloodstream
and all the strength of ancestors
brings us to this point
this hesitation
survival
is easy when you live
blue sky swirling
white clouds mix
easy as lying down
it begins
now
feet sink into grass
into soil like a seed
standing
waiting to grow
always somewhat unpredictable
yet as certain as the seasons
impossible to contain
like the rain
a choice to yell
or hush intentions behind a whisper
to get up
and leave
or stand still
like plaster
behind tall things
hiding
and I wasn't so sure before
but now I feel the light of morning
sun pierces my eyes
I'm cutting away uneven ties
and tides will bring in
everything they should
and standing back
waiting to see everything
the next day promises to
bring
vibrant, strong shimmering things
and maybe this won't be
so hard
after all
even the longest fall
is just a moment before
the wave rises
again
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Lazy? Prove yourself wrong!
We all have an area of life we feel lazy about -- maybe you have clutter. Perhaps you neglect your social calendar. Maybe you slack at work. Whatever it is, if you'd prefer it be different, you have the power to change.
Don't believe me? Think you're "lazy" for good? Prove yourself wrong.
Pick one small action -- it can be tiny. Do it right now. Lazy about clutter? Throw away one envelope. I'm serious! One envelope is all you need to begin to change a habit.
What is one tiny action you can do right now? Prove your "lazy" self wrong. You can choose to do things differently whenever you'd like. :)
Don't believe me? Think you're "lazy" for good? Prove yourself wrong.
Pick one small action -- it can be tiny. Do it right now. Lazy about clutter? Throw away one envelope. I'm serious! One envelope is all you need to begin to change a habit.
What is one tiny action you can do right now? Prove your "lazy" self wrong. You can choose to do things differently whenever you'd like. :)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Build a Powerful Foundation of Strength -- Be YOU
Need strength to tackle a challenge or realize your dreams? Here's the most powerful way to accomplish that.
Choose to not fit yourself in another’s mold. Be whatever you are, just because you’d like to be and know that is GOOD. Others will have to adapt to that. You NEED to be what you are. Allow yourself to be like a classy gorgeous bottle of champagne -- let yourself uncork and bubble over with joy -- and don’t allow anyone to bottle you up! No matter how afraid you are of losing them -- if they can’t stand letting you bubble over as yourself, they can’t allow “you” to exist, so you have already lost them in the first place anyway -- since not allowing you to be you means they aren’t really with “you.” So you never had them in the first place. Bubble over with kindness, love and joy like a fountain -- in your own personal way, whatever that is.
If you can tap into the strength of accepting yourself, you'll build a strong, powerful foundation of confidence -- the kind that turns adversity and insults into stings, not wounds. This gives you the strength to try new challenges and to succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
It all starts with the ability to allow yourself to just be -- to accept yourself as you are. To know you're good and amazing "as is."
You'll then radiate what you are to the world, naturally attracting everything you're meant for. It all starts with accepting yourself as you are -- not needing to be something different, but instead turning up the intensity of being yourself -- like removing the "dimmer switch" and turning a light on brighter.
One of my favorite quotes from Wayne Dyers is, "What you think about me is none of my business." It's really true! Someone else can never know you as deeply as you can -- and you can see all the good things they might not know yet. So trust yourself on this, not the opinion of someone else.
Choose to not fit yourself in another’s mold. Be whatever you are, just because you’d like to be and know that is GOOD. Others will have to adapt to that. You NEED to be what you are. Allow yourself to be like a classy gorgeous bottle of champagne -- let yourself uncork and bubble over with joy -- and don’t allow anyone to bottle you up! No matter how afraid you are of losing them -- if they can’t stand letting you bubble over as yourself, they can’t allow “you” to exist, so you have already lost them in the first place anyway -- since not allowing you to be you means they aren’t really with “you.” So you never had them in the first place. Bubble over with kindness, love and joy like a fountain -- in your own personal way, whatever that is.
If you can tap into the strength of accepting yourself, you'll build a strong, powerful foundation of confidence -- the kind that turns adversity and insults into stings, not wounds. This gives you the strength to try new challenges and to succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
It all starts with the ability to allow yourself to just be -- to accept yourself as you are. To know you're good and amazing "as is."
You'll then radiate what you are to the world, naturally attracting everything you're meant for. It all starts with accepting yourself as you are -- not needing to be something different, but instead turning up the intensity of being yourself -- like removing the "dimmer switch" and turning a light on brighter.
One of my favorite quotes from Wayne Dyers is, "What you think about me is none of my business." It's really true! Someone else can never know you as deeply as you can -- and you can see all the good things they might not know yet. So trust yourself on this, not the opinion of someone else.
Smart, but did something dumb? The only person to blame is...Bob the Elf!
Have you ever taken a really stupid action when you knew better? We've all done it. But why? Why do we not take the right actions when we need to? Being smart and using logic aren't enough to accomplish this -- there is something more important to being successful.
FUN FACT: Your current beliefs are resulting in your current actions. If you're not getting results you want, your beliefs are not supporting your actions.
What are some of these "stupid actions?" Let's say your goal is to get a great new job.
STUPID ACTIONS: Eating a lot of cheetos, NOT applying for jobs. Distracting self with reality TV shows, binge drinking, crying, complaining, blaming the economy, feeling frozen, begging friends for money, fearing living on the street.
You know these actions won't lead to getting a fabulous new career! You're smarter than that. But there is a reason smart people do stupid things. Let me explain why and how to change it.
Why we do stupid things:
Imagine there is a little man who sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. Let's picture him sort as like a tiny Keebler elf who is an out of work cookie maker -- and now he's occupied himself sitting on your shoulder and whispering things (he really has nothing better to do -- have you seen what's on TV lately?). Let's call him Bob. Tiny Elf Bob can either whisper inspiring, motivating things. Or, he can whisper negative, freezing-up things. The reasons he does this are long winded and boring so I will leave that out for now.
Anyway, Tiny Elf Bob leads you to believe things, which create your actions -- so you can do some pretty stupid things, regardless of how smart you are, just because of a lie that Bob has whispered. Pretty scary isn't it?
If Bob has whispered an untrue belief, it will prevent you from taking action. If Bob says "it's impossible," you will think it is impossible. Clearly, you won't take action to accomplish something that is impossible!
Seems like Bob has a LOT Of power, right? He controls your destiny and success, right? Not exactly! You have a role to play here as well -- I mean, are you really going to leave your destiny in the tiny hands of a little, out of work elf? I didn't think so! Yes, you can change how this plays out.
Now, how do we change this? How do we get our power back, instead of being a silly victim to Bob leading us wherever he happens to end up? Let's take control. To set this Bob straight, do this exercise.
How to do it in 4 steps (Train your Elf!)
DIRECTIONS: Elves like Bob are easily trained -- I mean, they're used to working in cookie factories, so take direction well. Choose a new set of beliefs to tell Bob that support taking action. Here you can use your smarts to de-program your beliefs from the lies Tiny Elf Bob has whispered. Re-create those beliefs and turn Bob into your biggest fan, so he's helping you find success instead.
1. What actions do you wish you had the guts to take? _________
2. What beliefs would you need to have (about yourself and the world) to support taking action?
_________
3. If you believed that about yourself, what actions would you take?
_________
4. Do just one action. Embrace your new belief. Repeat.
This enables us to get the successful outcome we would prefer -- and smartly know is the right one for us. It takes some time to train your Tiny Elf Bob, but be patient and he will soon be cheering for you instead of derailing your success! Elf training is fun :) And it's more enjoyable to get what you want, isn't it?
Enjoy your results! :)
P.S. If you make another mistake between now and then ("then" being your success), just be kind to yourself and say "Ah, that Elf did it!" Speak nicely to the Elf and explain what went wrong and what you would prefer. Ask for the Elf's help -- he's sitting on your shoulder anyway, might as well put him to work! And it really works. Good luck!
FUN FACT: Your current beliefs are resulting in your current actions. If you're not getting results you want, your beliefs are not supporting your actions.
What are some of these "stupid actions?" Let's say your goal is to get a great new job.
STUPID ACTIONS: Eating a lot of cheetos, NOT applying for jobs. Distracting self with reality TV shows, binge drinking, crying, complaining, blaming the economy, feeling frozen, begging friends for money, fearing living on the street.
You know these actions won't lead to getting a fabulous new career! You're smarter than that. But there is a reason smart people do stupid things. Let me explain why and how to change it.
Why we do stupid things:
Imagine there is a little man who sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. Let's picture him sort as like a tiny Keebler elf who is an out of work cookie maker -- and now he's occupied himself sitting on your shoulder and whispering things (he really has nothing better to do -- have you seen what's on TV lately?). Let's call him Bob. Tiny Elf Bob can either whisper inspiring, motivating things. Or, he can whisper negative, freezing-up things. The reasons he does this are long winded and boring so I will leave that out for now.
Anyway, Tiny Elf Bob leads you to believe things, which create your actions -- so you can do some pretty stupid things, regardless of how smart you are, just because of a lie that Bob has whispered. Pretty scary isn't it?
If Bob has whispered an untrue belief, it will prevent you from taking action. If Bob says "it's impossible," you will think it is impossible. Clearly, you won't take action to accomplish something that is impossible!
Seems like Bob has a LOT Of power, right? He controls your destiny and success, right? Not exactly! You have a role to play here as well -- I mean, are you really going to leave your destiny in the tiny hands of a little, out of work elf? I didn't think so! Yes, you can change how this plays out.
Now, how do we change this? How do we get our power back, instead of being a silly victim to Bob leading us wherever he happens to end up? Let's take control. To set this Bob straight, do this exercise.
How to do it in 4 steps (Train your Elf!)
DIRECTIONS: Elves like Bob are easily trained -- I mean, they're used to working in cookie factories, so take direction well. Choose a new set of beliefs to tell Bob that support taking action. Here you can use your smarts to de-program your beliefs from the lies Tiny Elf Bob has whispered. Re-create those beliefs and turn Bob into your biggest fan, so he's helping you find success instead.
1. What actions do you wish you had the guts to take? _________
2. What beliefs would you need to have (about yourself and the world) to support taking action?
_________
3. If you believed that about yourself, what actions would you take?
_________
4. Do just one action. Embrace your new belief. Repeat.
This enables us to get the successful outcome we would prefer -- and smartly know is the right one for us. It takes some time to train your Tiny Elf Bob, but be patient and he will soon be cheering for you instead of derailing your success! Elf training is fun :) And it's more enjoyable to get what you want, isn't it?
Enjoy your results! :)
P.S. If you make another mistake between now and then ("then" being your success), just be kind to yourself and say "Ah, that Elf did it!" Speak nicely to the Elf and explain what went wrong and what you would prefer. Ask for the Elf's help -- he's sitting on your shoulder anyway, might as well put him to work! And it really works. Good luck!
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